Overweight and unrelenting!

This blog-post of mine is to educate some of my fellow Indians. Having worked at the airport for the past 2 years now, I am always inundated by people requesting me to help them with their check-in at the airport. Suffice to say, I work for National Aviation Services more popularly known as NAS. Our primary role at the airport is to provide ground support to airlines that WE handle and fortunately we DO NOT handle Indian Airlines, Air India or Kuwait Airways (they handle themselves) and as such I have no power as an individual or as part of NAS to help these people that request me for favors at the airport. I have actually stopped telling people where I work because the moment you tell them, they just assume you work behind a check-in desk and you can help them sort their problems.

For the most part, people want to check-in excess baggage and want to get away without paying for it. Heaven forbid the airline staff refuses to take the bags on, these people will start ranting about how the airline mistreats them and as passengers they have the right to take on however much baggage they want to.

People, people, people – you’re all idiots to think that you have the right to check-in as much baggage you want. The airplane is a somewhat magical invention that carries tons of weight including passengers and cargo, defies the laws of gravity and transports you from one land to another in a matter of a few hours. Wonder of wonders, the airplane (as magical an invention as it is) has a payload capacity and you have to find it in your good hearts to forgive the airline staff for not checking in your 80 (extra) kgs. Indians in particular have had the reputation of transporting their entire households on one flight and they continue to do so. Believe me people, it’s perfectly normal. Perhaps it would be wise to use a freight forwarder to move your goods (just in case you absolutely HAVE to transport your entire household) to India instead of yelling at unfortunate staff that have the unforgiving job of reasoning with dumb-ass passengers on their inability to accept their excess baggage.

And one last thing – those of you who know me, don’t even dare call me and ask for a favor when you’re traveling. I’ll end up ripping your bags, shredding you vacation clothes and giving you a wedgie! Bon Voyage!

Stand out....don't blend in!

I am dumbfounded by the lack of creativity in Kuwait sometimes. I'm talking a about the same voices you hear doing jingles and commercials on Kuwait radio every morning. I'm talking about the same automated voice you hear when you call at least 3 or 4 leading banks in Kuwait. For some reason people making these cheap works of shame seem to think that associating a familiar voice in their automated voice system will enhance their reputation as they feel they're using a celebrity voice to a certain extent. Little to those fools realize that people CAN spot the similarities in the voices. For an organization of any international repute, it's important to have a clear-cut image and segregate it from the usual hum drum. Oh ye exalted people of the advertising world (in Kuwait), can you absolutely not find another voice to do those jingles? Having to hear the same voices over and over again just irritates the living crap out of me (sometimes it is good when I'm constipated but otherwise it's just annoying)

I just have one piece of advice for you - stand out instead of blending in….you idiots!

A Crane in the neck!

Kuwait has been bitten by the construction bug. Everywhere you go, you see buildings being constructed at a furious pace. Gone are the days when it would take over a year to get a building constructed. Nowadays you have a 12 storey apartment complex come up in about 6 months!

What really bothers me apart from the shoddy construction that starts to crumble even before you've managed arrange your furniture, is the way the entire process is managed. Cranes blocking the street during peak traffic hours, scaffolding material lying around on a public road along with cement and rubble. It's bad enough that the standard of material the contractors use is poor, now the standard of contruction is just as bad if not worse. Apart from causing huge blockages in traffic which can be a nuisance when you're off to work in the morning, what's worse is they do it like it's their damn birthright - to block streets.

There are numerous methods of construction (mainly adopted in developed countries) that require minimal usage of public areas. Seeing how technology has improved so much that you can (seemingly) build complexes in a matter of months, I'm sure the same can be done to conserve the sanity of the landscape around construction sites! In fact in places in Europe and North America, contractors are fined heavily for blocking public access, something the government in Kuwait should seriously think about considering the construction boom that has hit the country.

For now I am just annoyed at having to take a longer route to get the the highway from my house thanks to two large cranes that have partially and completely blocked access for me respectively. A crane in the neck I tell you........or is it 2 cranes in the ass? ;-)

Indian TV - It gets worse by the day!

I'm not saying I have all the time in the world to watch cheesy Indian talent shows but when it's Ramadan and you get home at 4:30 and have lunch, you can't take a nap too soon, you can't work on anything from home so what do you do? Watch some Indian telly.

And from my last post where I pointed out how judges show partiality towards certain contestants it get worse. Now some dingbat judge (we know her as Alka Yagnik) decides that women are getting voted out on purpose and it's a big conspiracy etc etc. The channel then goes on to air sentimental footage on how some ladies think it's unfair that boys get all the votes and the girl that is ousted gets another chance.

Damn you people, do you know anything about TV programming? And what's with the hosts saying it a show for the junta and right out of the blues, judges are given veto powers, arguing rights and permission to show affection towards one contestant? This might be good for TV ratings but it puts a very bad taste in some peoples' mouths. Especially the people who think India is one of the world's largest democracies!

Indian Television Singing Competitions are a big SHAM!

People, I am back from a sabbatical – and needless to say it was good! On with the blogging then :-

For the past few months I have been watching a few episodes of Indian television singing competitions like Indian Idol, Star Voice of India and Sa Re Ga Ma Challenge! Now I'm not a guru on Hindi music although I have been known to occasionally pop in an RD Burman CD every once in a while and while the singing talent at these contests is extraordinary, what pisses me off is the amount of emotion and drama that is weaved into the shows. First it was the weeklu serials, then it was the soaps and now it's the singing contests. They just don't know when to stop.

It's not like the soaps have given us respite from all the emotion (that in most cases doesn’t make much sense) but now the producers have succeeded in making these talent shows emotional as well. Talk about one of the contestants recently getting his old grandmother on stage to get some sympathy votes. (With all due respect to his grandmother who was really very sweet) Or the contestants getting overly emotional and sobbing their asses off when they're eliminated! Get a grip on yourselves people, I know to some it may be a dream to be on television but don’t you believe in the saying "all good things come to those who wait"

I find most of the judges of these shows extremely unprofessional (except Alisha Chinoy on Indian Idol). The judges don't seem to know what kind of behavior is allowed on screen. If they're trying to be controversial like the nut-jobs on shows like Pop Idol and American Idol, then the producers should know that there is a difference in being controversially fair and insanely stupid! Our Indian judges don't seem to be able to make that difference. There is a certain unwritten code of conduct judges need to follow for these kinds of shows. They can't be putting down other contestants and side with their favorite in the manner that some judges on Indian television have been doing for the past few weeks now. They can criticize but they can NOT be biased towards any candidate. Last year American Idol saw Paula Abdoul severely reprimanded by her producers for her (supposed) partiality towards one of the contestants and this wasn't even proved, it was just a speculation!

Another thing that annoyed the hell out of me is that these shows have mentors and once their candidates get ousted, the mentors get all loud and emotional themselves and start canvassing for their students and do silly things like vow to never come back to the show again. Some mentors have even gone on record to say that Indian viewers don't know how to vote! Come on people, the concept of the show demands that the people vote for their favorite contestants and if the Indian population has voted for their choice, they do it out of their own judgment. If the judges or mentors want the candidates of their choice to win the contest, perhaps the lame-brain producers should think twice before making it a voting show for the masses and just let the judges decide themselves.

Damn shame!

Kuwait - in the 80s!

Having spent a considerable amount of my childhood (1984 -90) in Kuwait, one can surely understand why I loved the eighties. Although my love for the era and the place was not evident back then (I always wanted to grow up and start shaving) looking at things presently, one can only turn to nostalgia of the yesteryears and remember the great times.

I remember the TV shows they used to show us. Mainly KTV and I have to admit compared to some of the other regional channels back then KTV was a hit. Bringing us hit shows like Silver Spoons, Macgyver, The A Team, Magnum PI, Knight Rider and the likes. I won't get into these since I've already posted on 80s shows earlier this month. Do you guys remember Chart Attack? Compared to channels like Dubai One and MBC, KTV is crap now!

I remember the old Salmiya shopping area even though I wasn't much of a Salmiya guy. We as kids loved going there and hanging out. The Gulf Road was barely ready (at least during the early eighties) and there weren't as many traffic lights.

My mom used to work at Safeway across from the Crowne Plaza (the Holiday inn back then). The sixth ring road was fairly new and less traveled and I remember waiting at least 5 minutes before I could cross it and go to Kids R us and Safeway!

Safeway and The Sultan Center were the only 2 supermarkets in the country that were open 24 hours. The co-ops were just crappy!

I don't quite remember if Pizza Hut was around but Pizza Italia was the best and they always had some kind of promos running. Of course Kentucky Fried Chicken and Hardees were some of the other few international fast-food joints and Hungry Bunny was THE place for burgers. I think there was an Arby's too but I didn’t go there that often. I remember Wimpy's too!

As an Indian the only live local band I knew of then was "Next of Kin" who I think are still in action (the old dinosaurs). DJing wasn't DJing, it was just playing a tape recorder connected to an amplifier. Walkmans were THE thing for us kids back then and so were Archie comics!

As an Indian I remember the rivalry between the Indian School Salmiya and New Indian School Jabriya. We used o get into a lot of fights with all the spray painting and stoning!

I remember Atari & Nintendo. Atari was more popular and I had about 3 sets that I eventually broke (due to overuse)

I also remember Like Cola and RC Cola. Vimto and Shaani were very popular and so was Sunkist!

The Holiday Inn had the first bowling alley (which I am told was a discotheque earlier) and was quite the hangout for young adults. And whatever happened to that boat they had turned into a hotel (was it the Marriott?)

I remember Muthanna Complex in Kuwait City being the only "cool" place to hang out with the clothing stores and the gaming arcades!

I remember the Rubick's cube being a major source of entertainment along with game-in-watches and those other Casio watched with calculators!

I remember Farwaniya and Hawalli being Palestinian ghettos and the Palestinians themselves were quite the kingpins driving Trans-Ams that were a tad bit noisy.

I don't remember the roads being as congested as they are today and people drove a lot better and with a lot more consideration & road sense.

I remember Kuwait – it was certainly a better place to live in. Maybe it's just because we were kids then and didn't have a care in the world except homework and collecting skittles for prizes! Things have definitely changed now.

All in all they were great times. Ah nostalgia – makes us grow old sometimes! Do you guys remember anything from the eighties in Kuwait?

Independence Day Blues!!!

Indians all over the world have attained a great amount of notoriety! Some people have been hailed as enigmatic leaders, some are talented musicians, (a few) are gifted athletes, many are intelligent educators and even a few visionary gurus. India is one of the strongest and fastest growing economies of today and is making a huge impact on fashion and entertainment in addition to international commerce and industry. Needless to say this was not always the case and by and large, the media is to be thanked for this. The Indian media has played en enormous role in the transformation of India from a perceived nation of elephant riders, hungry kids, old beggars and snake charmers to showcasing it as a country with rich traditions and human diversity. It's a country where people are strong willed and determined to make a difference in today's world. And no matter how crappy they dress or how thick their accent is, they will make it if they want to!

About 3 years ago, before I discovered the wonderful world of blogging I had sent out an email to all my Indian friends. It was an email on India's Independence Day and the various ways Indians celebrate it all over the world. In essence it was sent not to deride the larger Indian populace outside the country but to educate people on the true meaning of Independence. I received a lot of feedback – mostly positive, some negative and even got into a verbose diatribe with a few of my close friends on how independence needs to be perceived.

And here I am again – trying to make my point to the few people that have yet to get the message. We do not celebrate Independence because we have extra cash to buy fire-crackers or silly colorful stickers to stick on our cars and bikes. We celebrate it because we are proud of belonging to a country that has so much to offer!

I am proud of being an Indian not because of some silly email that is making rounds once again reminding us of Sabir Bhatia's contribution to email by inventing hotmail or the fact that India has not invaded a single country in a zillion years!

I'm proud of being Indian because it has instilled in me the virtues of patience.

For if I hadn't stood in long lines waiting to pay my electricity bill ten years ago, I would not have enjoyed the quicker service now.

If I hadn't to walk through doors and doors of bureaucracy and red tape in India a decade ago, I would never have realized how much worse it is here in Kuwait.

If it hadn’t been for the grit and determination of a handful of somewhat noble (or should I say visionary) politicians in the nineties, India would still be in the slums.

I'm proud of being Indian because it has made me street-smart and I can finally tell when someone's trying to con me.

I'm proud of being Indian because it's made my immune system stronger and my intestines can digest almost any kind of edible food after my bhel puri escapades on chowpatty beach, Mumbai India!

I'm proud of being Indian because back home 10 AM tomorrow means 10 AM tomorrow (no matter how many people in Kuwait say Indian Standard Time thinking it to be a mockery of sorts) and not Inshallah 10 AM tomorrow which could mean anytime between 10 AM tomorrow and the next 3 weeks!

What most of us here in Kuwait do is criticize. That's because we're just lame-brains and that includes me. We're quick to find faults in the way people think and react when incidents happen in India little realizing that we'd probably do the same thing if we were a part of that society. We think we're more successful because we drive better cars on better roads. And that India really needs our money! Truth be told people – she doesn’t!

I will not end this with a corny greeting like "Happy Independence Day" but with a hope that readers will try and understand the true meaning of Independence. Peace!!!