Do we really need Ivy League champions to manage our businesses in Kuwait?

It amuses me when I read about how companies in Kuwait are looking specifically for certain type of candidates to fill certain positions. Candidates that have graduated out of prestigious Ivy league schools. Some of you might ask me why?

Simply because I don't see any improvements in the way business is done in Kuwait on the whole. There are no seemingly noticeable improvements in the way these businesses are run and more importantly, there is no improvement in service! Why then do these companies insist on hiring candidates that have graduated out the Harvards, Stanfords, Oxfords, Enseads and IIMs of the world? Do they really plan on utilizing the talents of these individuals or is it just a way for CEOs to brag...

"I've got 3 Harvard graduates in my BD team"

"That's nothing, I've got 2 guys from Stanford, a guy from Wharton and 4 from IIM."

Let's face it, Kuwait is a small country. As much as I don't like Dubai, if someone told me they were looking for these kind of people, I'd believe it. Simply because, financial/real estate crisis or not, you can see the big developments in the emirate. You can see that they have a penchant for hiring talented people and getting the best out of them. You see old and new companies taking risks, building brands and engaging customers. You see new projects on the horizon all the time; the world's tallest, fattest, shortest, widest, coolest....arrgh!! The point is, we see developments taking place every now and then. So the need for these people is almost autonomously justified.

This is more than I can say for their counterparts in Kuwait. Apart from a handful of companies here, I can't seem to fathom the idea that a fresh Kellogg or IIM grad can do a better job at managing a brand in Kuwait than a guy with hardcore experience. Business ideas lack creativity, overall treatment of employees is below par with the rest of the world and again, customer service in Kuwait is appalling. How then are these companies utilizing the talents of these people positively? Do we see any developments on the horizon?

Personally, I think instead of hiring these "Ivy league champions", companies would do better if they just spent their money on training their customer service staff on better (or should I daresay - basic) customer service ideologies; that would be money well spent! Which once again brings me to my question, why hire ONLY graduates from these colleges when you've got talented people waiting for opportunities?

Frankly, I think it's a scam to make their companies look good to the outside world. I know there will be a few naysayers that want to diss this blogpost thinking quality people equals quality output. I'd almost agree with that except for the fact that: it only takes a good mechanic to fix a car, not an automobile engineer!

STOP getting ripped off by Kuwaiti Mobile Phone companies!!!

For years now we have been getting swindled by mobile phone operators in Kuwait. We paid the heftiest charges among all the countries in the Middle East despite having more than one operator for the most part of 10 years. Coverage was at best average which in my book is very appalling considering the size of Kuwait and the straightforward topography. After a decade of paying for incoming calls, the arrival of VIVA saw the rest of the bunch allow incoming calls for free.

We thought this was the start of something new; a price war between the cell phone companies that would ultimately benefit the subscribers. But after a year for some reason there seems to be no fairness OR logic in the various promotions or schemes announced by either of these companies. To be honest, I don't count VIVA in this because they haven't been in the market long enough for me to commend or berate them. SO it's between Zain and Wataniya that we need to choose from. Which is the devil and which si the deep blue sea?

How does logic come into effect when their marketing team plans their strategy? I say this because I am a marketer myself and before I revise pricing, the first thing I would look at is the company's existing subscribers. How do they fit in the new pricing scheme? How will they benefit from it? I've had an eGo subscription for almost 2 years now and I bought the line when there was no special offer or anything of that sort on neither the device nor the subscription. On top of that, I paid a hefty amount for the device itself. After two years of being a loyal subscriber, I find out that they're doing promotions for new subscribers where they get a free device if they subscribe for one year. When I asked one of their customer services reps if I would get a special price on a new device and a reduction in my rate (since the new rates are KD 1.5 less than what I’m paying) the answer I got was a firm “I’m sorry sit but I can’t do that. It’s against the rule. You have to pay full price for the new device.”

Bastards! I would like to know who the freaking hell designs their promotion campaigs and who plans their marketing strategy. It’s insanely and cruelly absurd! Cell phone companies in the rest of the world reward you for being a long term customer and give you stuff either at discounted prices or for FREE. Here, I am being charged as though I am a newbie. Why would I want to stay a loyal customer? Are the mobile companies going to make any concessions that make sense in future or are they going to continue ripping us off?

Someone please make sense of this for me?!?!?!?!?!?

Calling all you Authority Abusers: do you think you're better than the rest of us?

Thanks to my job, I get to meet a lot of people in influential positions in Kuwait and although that is not always a good thing I can cope with it most of the time. However the one thing that annoys the living crap out of me is people who abuse their authority and more specifically, people who THINK they have authority.

Have you ever worked or dealt with people at the British or American Embassies in Kuwait? I mean local recruits, mainly counter staff or lower level staff that aren’t British or American in any way; mainly Lebanese, Egyptians, Syrians, Indians, Pilipino etc.? These people think just because they work for the Embassy, they’re as good as the people of that country. Now I’m not saying the British or Americans are better than the rest of us lot, but sadly this is how people in this part of the world think. And this is exactly how these ignoramuses think as well. To make matters worse, these people are rude, arrogant and condescending and thoroughly unprofessional!

Just to educate the rest of you folk who don’t know this; most lower level embassy jobs are cut and dry and as easy as pie….or maybe easier! It’s mainly filling & checking forms, accepting applications, filing, placing orders for supplies, talkling to people that call for information (that is mostly read from a book of ready answers because the nit-wits don't know to handle exceptions) releasing purchase orders etc. You don’t even need to be a brain surgeon’s ass-wipe to get those things done! The nerve of some of those people, pretending that they are more important (and busier) than the ambassadors themselves?

The funny thing is I know some real Brits and Americans that work at these embassies and they’re not even half as arrogant as their wannabe colleagues. Maybe the embassies in question need to evaluate their positions on this. Or perhaps they’re happy with employing morons because they accept to work for less? Damn shame!

Will we ever live as ONE!

The other day I was thinking about how different countries have different defence, military and development programs that it can benefit from. Some countries even go to the extent of setting up bases and platforms in other countries or territories to get the upper hand on their neighbours and rivals. Then I chanced upon watching an episode of “V” a TV show that airs on MBC Action that revolves around a species of aliens that have come to earth from a galaxy far far away. They claim to want to live in peace with the people of earth and exchange knowledge and technology etc.but it turns out they lied and just want to conquer earth. It’s a remake of a popular 80s TV mini series that I watched as a kid. However, the plot of the storyline isn’t the point here. The point is in one of the episodes, their commander or leader tells the people of Earth that from where she comes from, there are no countries and everyone on their planet acts in the interest of the planet.

That got me thinking, when will we act like that? For centuries we have fought against one another. Different human configurations have always fought for supremacy and the reasons were manifold; racial, political, geographical and technological superiority. When, if ever, do you think will we ever begin to start thinking as citizens of the world instead of nationals of a particular country? When will we unite as one race? A race of humans! Do we have to wait for a few centuries before we start traveling in spaceships and have no more earth to conquer after the ravages of war? It is definitely something to think about. Either way, John Lennon surmises this best in his unforgettable song, Imagine. Here’s one verse for you to ponder upon!

Imagine there's no countries,

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace

Happy Liberation & National Day to my Kuwaiti friends!

I must admit, I feel for the Kuwaiti population during the Liberation and National day holidays. I am not saying this just because of the traffic during this time, I say this because I really feel for them.

Ok, I don't really love the country to pieces but I do have a certain connection to the place. I was born here and have spent half my life here. I have had many memorable childhood memories growing up watching Knight Rider & Chart Attack on KTV2, collecting Galactica cards and hanging out at Arby's, Pizza Italia and Hungry Bunny in the old Salmiya Souq area as a kid!
But what saddens me is that while the country celebrates the National & Liberation day holidays (in more ghastly ways that one can imagine) the people seem to lack a proper sense of belonging to a nation. For a country that is extremely young, there doesnt seem to be anything to look forward to. Apart for the old-timers who used to be proud citizens, apart from a few people we read about in local magazines, the younger generation does not seem to understand the true meaning of being liberated. For them it is about going to the "west" getting an American or British education and coming back to flaunt their degrees to get better paying jobs as opposed to giving back to the country. Physically it may tbe the liberation of Kuwait from Iraq in 1991 that we celebrate but metaphorically to me, it's being liberated from the shackles of complacency and looking forward o a bright future.

It's not about spraying cars with foam or not about dancing on the streets of Kuwait with face paint and colorful flags. And it's certainly not about checking out the women through a smokescreen of red, white and green tassles and waterguns. If only these people understood the true meaning of being liberated, there wouldn't be 11 deaths in 65 road accidents in a span of 4 days as reported in the newspapers. Perhaps the country should work towards giving these people what they deserve to realize the meaning of liberation and the true meaning of belonging to a country.

Give generously...and meaningfully!

We all know about the disaster that took place in Haiti in January when a 7.2 magnitude earthquake hit the country killing 200,000 people and rendering at least a million people homeless. I must really commend the people that are on the ground in Haiti right now helping out with reconstruction, tending to the injured and needy etc. I firmly believe in humanity and that people come through for you in the time of need. In cases like the Haiti disaster, nuances of human empathy and generosity were clearly evident with online and offline NGOs reporting a record a number of donations worldwide.

Of course, for every right, there is a wrong as I like to remind people some times. In this case, there are a certain bunch of people who exploit the situation to make the most of it. My gripe in Kuwait is that although many organizations across the country have volunteered to help the Haitians by collection/donation drives etc, it appears that most of the organizations are doing this solely because it is the "in" thing to do. They're doing it because George Clooney and his friends are doing it and they think it's cool if Hollywood stars do it. They’re doing it because corporate social responsibility is a big thing nowadays especially among the corporate elite and it is compulsory for large companies to adopt CSR practices.

The point I am trying to make is; it's easy to lose sight of the big picture when you think of petty gain. What's more important is that the people who really need the money and aid get it before it is too late.

So I say to all you people who want to have a fancy looking collection box outside your reception areas, do not do it because it may impress visitors to your company; do it because someone, somewhere needs your help! Make sure you announce the drive within the company and your network of contacts. Make sure someone monitors what is collected and finally make sure that the collections no matter how large or meager are sent to the NGO you’re dealing with.

After all, what good is the effort if the end benefactors don’t benefit?

Annoying Online Promotion

Have you received an email from "President Nelson Mandela" at "S.A. 2010 WORLD CUP PROMOTION" saying you won their promotion or lottery promo and to contact "MR.OWEN DOUGLAS" to collect your winnings? It is a scam. And don't get too excited if the names are different; the scammers make many versions of this scam!
It is actually a very simple scam. They claim you won a promotion, which is giving away millions of dollars based on a randomly selected email address. The scam is obvious: it's simply preposterous to think that any company would randomly give away money to encourage you to buy their product. That would be self-defeating.
There are many other signs that this is a fraud that we have highlighted in the email below, not the least of which are:
- Email address ballot: There is no such thing as a "computer ballot system" or "computer email draw". No one, not even Microsoft has a database of email addresses of the type or magnitude they suggest.
- Terrible spelling, punctuation, syntax and grammar - Scammers apparently don't know how to use spell checkers. I assume they dropped out of school before that class. They use almost random CapItaLiZAtion and often can't even spell "February" or know that "22th" ought to be "22nd". These scammers usually write at the 3rd grade level.
- Using a free email account: The scammer is writing to you from a FREE email account (Yahoo, Hotmail, etc.). Don't you think a real organization would use its own email, its own domain and website? Wouldn't they want to promote that?
- What are they promoting? No one promotes "world peace" or "use of the internet" by handing out millions to random strangers. And if they are promoting a product, then this must be the world's worst promotion, because no one has heard of it, outside of the email you just received.
- Pay a fee to collect the prize: Nope, it is illegal for free sweepstakes and promotions to charge you ANYTHING! Of course, in a scam, that is the whole point: to get you to send money to the scammer

So if any one of you receives this kind of email asking them to be a part of the promotion, you know what to do.

Handling the Recession

Researchers and financial analysts (these are the same people that said the US economy was solid for the next 2 decades by the way) say that even through we’re undergoing a recession; some communities are seemingly less affected by the global downturn than the others. This means that if you’re in healthcare or education, you’re less likely to lose your job than if you are in the banking or financial services sectors. Of course this doesn’t mean that teachers, doctors and nurses are recession proof; it just means they are harder to get rid of than the annoying investment consultant bugging you with incessant phone calls telling you to diversify your stock portfolio.

Maybe it's about time some of us switched professions? ;-) Either way, I think we're lucky we live in the GCC. Although things are rough at the moment with job-cuts, pay-cuts and budget-cuts, at least we're better off than the people in the US where the scene is almost literally cut-throat!

What's in a title?

Some of you might find this post familiar. It's just my article for the bazaar magazine for the month of February. It might be a little too stale and the moment but the topic still makes my head boil at times......and sometimes makes me laugh until I almost puke my guts out! Anyway....read on:

What qualifies a person to be a manager? Or what qualifies a person to be a Director or Vice President for that matter? Let’s take a peek at how titles are derived these days.

I don’t mean to pass judgment on the people that have gone up the ladder the old fashioned way – hard work, hands-on experience and leadership abilities among many other traits. It’s just that in recent times we have seen an unusual, almost abnormal growth of titles in large corporations and medium sized company. Gone are the days when being a Sales Manager or Product Manager was the “in” thing. Now we have complex titles like Manager, International Relations, Middle East & Africa or Senior Corporate Advisor, Asia & Emerging Markets. They have titles, subtitles and the area in which they function both in terms of the company itself and sometimes the geographical location.

Occasionally these fancy titles take about 40 per cent of the space available on a business card (and half your breath away). The people with the titles for the most part are just “suits” or sometimes just “skirts” if I may use that term. People with a fancy degree from an even fancier sounding college or university that speak with a Western accent get fancier titles compared to the rest of the plebeian folk.

What dictates your title and your position in the pecking order of a company? Is it your experience? Is it your capacity to handle complicated projects? Is it your ability to supervise people? Apparently some companies in Kuwait have no clear distinctions. You could be a Vice President and have nobody except an executive assistant reporting to you. You could be in a department of six wherein all six are managers with no sub-ordinates.

Granted sometimes when you are in a Business Development function and you are meeting with higher-ranking members of the business community, it does help if you have a senior (sounding) title on your business card. However that does not mean you hire people who have just graduated out of a top university and give them a superior title to impress your clients and this seems to be the case in Kuwait of late.

In my opinion, companies in Kuwait have to draw a line on how to award titles. For instance, if you are in the capacity of Business Development Manager, are you in a position to draw up a Business Plan for the product or service that you are selling? Are you able to segregate strategic, tactical and day-to-day decisions and create a plan that will incorporate all these fundamentals? In most cases, I’ll tell you right now, the answer is no. Fine, they probably can drum up an exciting presentation in PowerPoint with fancy bells and whistles and sophisticated graphs and pie charts but tell them to do something a little more strategic in nature and they’ll shun you like the plague! They make simple projects sounds as convoluted as knitting sweaters for an entire football team blindfolded in semi-circles!

This is something I have experienced. I meet these kinds of people on a daily basis all the time. These are the people who have offices of their own and disapprove of working in cubicles. They are the kind of people who appear to be real busy (taking a page right out of Dilbert) staring into their laptops all day making you think they’re diligent workers who have an urge to make it to the top. Little known to the common folk is that these people are actually silently chatting away their time on MSN or of late (Face-booking their profile). Or they could be YouTubing too! What is amusing is their skill on how to maximize and minimize applications in Windows is so flawless that they can make you believe they’ve been working hard on a global product pricing graph all day when the truth of the matter is they’ve been chatting to some East European girl promising to walk down the aisle with them and bring them to Kuwait for better prospects.

Personally I could care less if these people become CEOs within the next year or two. I would rather hone my skills as a professional and climb the ladder – the right way. To those people with flamboyant titles, all I can say is – Damn shame!

Why do we live here?

I just got back from a vacation in London a week ago. If you're wondering why I didn't post anything on this blog since then it's because I proposed to my girl in London, she said yes and I was just reveling in the joy of being engaged! Now that the effect has worn off (to a certain extent) I am back to my blogging ways!

For the most part of my travels in the past, I didn't really bother about coming back to Kuwait from a vacation. Probably because it didn't matter that much at the time. On this return journey however, I just got this sinking feeling as soon as I landed into Kuwait. Partially because I was missing my fiancee. But more than anything else, it was because I was back in the land of the rude. In a country where the phrases "please" and "excuse me" have as much value as a screaming nun in a cemetary! I was transported from a land where people (although snooty) are polite, to a land where people are snooty, impolite and to a certain extent downright dumb. I refer to the people at immigration desks (including the women). Does it really cost them to be polite? Maybe smiling is something they reserve for weddings or hitting on people of the opposite sex and think it is wasted on travelers coming into the country but at least be civil instead of yelling out orders.

Makes you wonder doesn't it? If it wasn't for the money, we'd be long gone from here! Damn shame!

A Crane in the neck!

Kuwait has been bitten by the construction bug. Everywhere you go, you see buildings being constructed at a furious pace. Gone are the days when it would take over a year to get a building constructed. Nowadays you have a 12 storey apartment complex come up in about 6 months!

What really bothers me apart from the shoddy construction that starts to crumble even before you've managed arrange your furniture, is the way the entire process is managed. Cranes blocking the street during peak traffic hours, scaffolding material lying around on a public road along with cement and rubble. It's bad enough that the standard of material the contractors use is poor, now the standard of contruction is just as bad if not worse. Apart from causing huge blockages in traffic which can be a nuisance when you're off to work in the morning, what's worse is they do it like it's their damn birthright - to block streets.

There are numerous methods of construction (mainly adopted in developed countries) that require minimal usage of public areas. Seeing how technology has improved so much that you can (seemingly) build complexes in a matter of months, I'm sure the same can be done to conserve the sanity of the landscape around construction sites! In fact in places in Europe and North America, contractors are fined heavily for blocking public access, something the government in Kuwait should seriously think about considering the construction boom that has hit the country.

For now I am just annoyed at having to take a longer route to get the the highway from my house thanks to two large cranes that have partially and completely blocked access for me respectively. A crane in the neck I tell you........or is it 2 cranes in the ass? ;-)

Designer Babies!

The media have over the past few years thrown about issues of stem cell research, assisted reproduction and cloning. The making of designer babies as some people like to term them has been in the news for quite a while now. And while countries like the US have initiated and set of boards and committees like its Bioethics council to discuss and proliferate issues related to biomedical technologies.

Some of you may know I write for the popular magazine bazaar in Kuwait and my feature for the coming month is intended to shed some more light on biomedical technology and its pros & cons. As such some of your comments may be used in the article if you don’t mind me publishing your names or we could just use your nicknames in blog-land (don’t know how readers will react to a "flaming carrot")

I personally am not a proponent of designer babies. The fact that we're messing around to create the perfect human being is just plain "wrong" to me. For me biotechnology is more about finding ways to cure some of the most common ailments and diseases in the world today. Some of you may argue that stem cell research has the potential to substantially change the way people are treated for diseases like cancer, Parkinson's and leukemia and while that is true, some scientists have been trying to use the findings of embryonic stem cell research to go to the next level; selling the concept to wealthy families in the guise of designer babies.

A reproductive technology like in-vitro-fertilization is to a certain extent acceptable if the recipients of the artificially fertilized babies are couples that can not conceive a child but there have been reported cases of couples resorting to in-vitro fertilization to just get better children. This is like challenging God to a contest saying we can make better and flawless human beings.

Any views people?

Orkut to be banned in Kuwait?

This post stems from the article I read this morning in the Arab Times stating that the Ministry of Information plans on banning acess to the popular community networking site orkut.com in the near future. Are these guys for real? Afte the governments of Iran, Saudi Arabia (no surprises there) and the UAE (surprisingly) Kuwait is soon to follow apparently.

Orkut is a communitiy based website similar to hi5 and facebook that enables users to post profiles, comments and network. A lof of my friends and other people I know have actually got in touch with lost friends through this website and it's one of the most popular sites in the world especially since it was bought by Google earlier this year.

The governments mentioned above are supposedly afraid of the content that is posted on this website and the fact that users can create multiple profiles and this may lead to fraud, racism and probably propogation of violence and hate groups. Seeing that the internet is one big cauldron of information that can by and large be controlled by users, I don't see the point in banning a site like orkut. What the government does not realize is that there are ways to control this sort of thing. Perhaps they can poilce the site and restrict access to objectionable content. It beats banning access to the site completely. Come to think of it no site or community on the internet is safe from this. That doesnt mean you're going to ban the internet entirely does it?

Hipocracy - how dumb to people actually think we are?

Isn't it funny how people say something and mean the total opposite of what they say?

Now I live in Kuwait which is to be honest not an extremely bad place to live in. That is if you don't mind the racism once in a while. And every now and then you meet people who say that they're totally opposed to racism and are al for equal treatment you actually think to yourself "here's someone I might actually get along with" or "finally I've met someone who respects people for who they are and not for the color of their skin or their religion"

And while in your head you\re thinking of how cool this person is, he or she will make a real dumb statement that'll make you want to stuff yesterday's leftover linguini down his or her throat!

Hard to believe? Well I'm telling you the truth - except for the linguini part. I'm Indian so I'd rather use chapati (an Indian form of bread similar to pita bread) instead!

Ok people I'm just getting started on bloggin so please excuse my inane rantings sometimes.