Do we really need Ivy League champions to manage our businesses in Kuwait?

It amuses me when I read about how companies in Kuwait are looking specifically for certain type of candidates to fill certain positions. Candidates that have graduated out of prestigious Ivy league schools. Some of you might ask me why?

Simply because I don't see any improvements in the way business is done in Kuwait on the whole. There are no seemingly noticeable improvements in the way these businesses are run and more importantly, there is no improvement in service! Why then do these companies insist on hiring candidates that have graduated out the Harvards, Stanfords, Oxfords, Enseads and IIMs of the world? Do they really plan on utilizing the talents of these individuals or is it just a way for CEOs to brag...

"I've got 3 Harvard graduates in my BD team"

"That's nothing, I've got 2 guys from Stanford, a guy from Wharton and 4 from IIM."

Let's face it, Kuwait is a small country. As much as I don't like Dubai, if someone told me they were looking for these kind of people, I'd believe it. Simply because, financial/real estate crisis or not, you can see the big developments in the emirate. You can see that they have a penchant for hiring talented people and getting the best out of them. You see old and new companies taking risks, building brands and engaging customers. You see new projects on the horizon all the time; the world's tallest, fattest, shortest, widest, coolest....arrgh!! The point is, we see developments taking place every now and then. So the need for these people is almost autonomously justified.

This is more than I can say for their counterparts in Kuwait. Apart from a handful of companies here, I can't seem to fathom the idea that a fresh Kellogg or IIM grad can do a better job at managing a brand in Kuwait than a guy with hardcore experience. Business ideas lack creativity, overall treatment of employees is below par with the rest of the world and again, customer service in Kuwait is appalling. How then are these companies utilizing the talents of these people positively? Do we see any developments on the horizon?

Personally, I think instead of hiring these "Ivy league champions", companies would do better if they just spent their money on training their customer service staff on better (or should I daresay - basic) customer service ideologies; that would be money well spent! Which once again brings me to my question, why hire ONLY graduates from these colleges when you've got talented people waiting for opportunities?

Frankly, I think it's a scam to make their companies look good to the outside world. I know there will be a few naysayers that want to diss this blogpost thinking quality people equals quality output. I'd almost agree with that except for the fact that: it only takes a good mechanic to fix a car, not an automobile engineer!

STOP getting ripped off by Kuwaiti Mobile Phone companies!!!

For years now we have been getting swindled by mobile phone operators in Kuwait. We paid the heftiest charges among all the countries in the Middle East despite having more than one operator for the most part of 10 years. Coverage was at best average which in my book is very appalling considering the size of Kuwait and the straightforward topography. After a decade of paying for incoming calls, the arrival of VIVA saw the rest of the bunch allow incoming calls for free.

We thought this was the start of something new; a price war between the cell phone companies that would ultimately benefit the subscribers. But after a year for some reason there seems to be no fairness OR logic in the various promotions or schemes announced by either of these companies. To be honest, I don't count VIVA in this because they haven't been in the market long enough for me to commend or berate them. SO it's between Zain and Wataniya that we need to choose from. Which is the devil and which si the deep blue sea?

How does logic come into effect when their marketing team plans their strategy? I say this because I am a marketer myself and before I revise pricing, the first thing I would look at is the company's existing subscribers. How do they fit in the new pricing scheme? How will they benefit from it? I've had an eGo subscription for almost 2 years now and I bought the line when there was no special offer or anything of that sort on neither the device nor the subscription. On top of that, I paid a hefty amount for the device itself. After two years of being a loyal subscriber, I find out that they're doing promotions for new subscribers where they get a free device if they subscribe for one year. When I asked one of their customer services reps if I would get a special price on a new device and a reduction in my rate (since the new rates are KD 1.5 less than what I’m paying) the answer I got was a firm “I’m sorry sit but I can’t do that. It’s against the rule. You have to pay full price for the new device.”

Bastards! I would like to know who the freaking hell designs their promotion campaigs and who plans their marketing strategy. It’s insanely and cruelly absurd! Cell phone companies in the rest of the world reward you for being a long term customer and give you stuff either at discounted prices or for FREE. Here, I am being charged as though I am a newbie. Why would I want to stay a loyal customer? Are the mobile companies going to make any concessions that make sense in future or are they going to continue ripping us off?

Someone please make sense of this for me?!?!?!?!?!?

Happy Liberation & National Day to my Kuwaiti friends!

I must admit, I feel for the Kuwaiti population during the Liberation and National day holidays. I am not saying this just because of the traffic during this time, I say this because I really feel for them.

Ok, I don't really love the country to pieces but I do have a certain connection to the place. I was born here and have spent half my life here. I have had many memorable childhood memories growing up watching Knight Rider & Chart Attack on KTV2, collecting Galactica cards and hanging out at Arby's, Pizza Italia and Hungry Bunny in the old Salmiya Souq area as a kid!
But what saddens me is that while the country celebrates the National & Liberation day holidays (in more ghastly ways that one can imagine) the people seem to lack a proper sense of belonging to a nation. For a country that is extremely young, there doesnt seem to be anything to look forward to. Apart for the old-timers who used to be proud citizens, apart from a few people we read about in local magazines, the younger generation does not seem to understand the true meaning of being liberated. For them it is about going to the "west" getting an American or British education and coming back to flaunt their degrees to get better paying jobs as opposed to giving back to the country. Physically it may tbe the liberation of Kuwait from Iraq in 1991 that we celebrate but metaphorically to me, it's being liberated from the shackles of complacency and looking forward o a bright future.

It's not about spraying cars with foam or not about dancing on the streets of Kuwait with face paint and colorful flags. And it's certainly not about checking out the women through a smokescreen of red, white and green tassles and waterguns. If only these people understood the true meaning of being liberated, there wouldn't be 11 deaths in 65 road accidents in a span of 4 days as reported in the newspapers. Perhaps the country should work towards giving these people what they deserve to realize the meaning of liberation and the true meaning of belonging to a country.

Taming the beast on the Kuwait roads

I just got back from a crazy day driving on the streets of Kuwait City. I must admit, while Kuwait has a decent set of roads; the people on them don't seem to be half as decent. In my 15 minute drive from Kuwait City to the Airport, I got cut off by 4 fancy sports cars (2 Porsches, a Massarati and a Nissan Z350).

Of course, other people driving other cars also cut of me off but my bitch for the day is the people with the fancy roadsters specifically the Porches, Ferraris, the Lambos and the Masseratis. Albeit the fact that over 90% of the people that own these cars in Kuwait buy them because of upholding their status is true. What pisses me off is that most of the people that drive these machines don't have the slightest idea how to drive them.

My friend Q8 Apothecary (whose blog seems to have gone into hibernation) has summed it best on one of his posts a few years ago. It's not about how many horsepower your car has, it's about the guy or girl behind the wheel (in our case, the moron) behind the wheel that matters. Super cars specifically the Ferraris and Porches need to be driven specifically. They are not your every day commuter vehicles, they are not drag racing cars and most of all, they are to be driven with skill and precision. This is one of the main reasons we see rash and negligent driving on the streets that results in injuries and death. And we wonder why Kuwait has one of the highest accident rates in this part of the world?

Who might I ask is to be blamed for this? Is it the dealers who do not bother to offer basic drivers training to new buyers? Is it the parents who indulge their kids with luxuries for fear of being called insufficient providers? Or is it the fault of the drivers themselves who neglect all road sense and sensibility for want of fame and an adrenalin rush?

Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't buy a Porchse. In fact, if you can afford it, go ahead and buy one right away. But before you take to the wheel, try and understand how the machine responds to your touch. A super car is like a beast that needs taming. And until you understand how to be one with your machine, please don't take to crazy antics on the streets or think for one minute that you are licensed to thrill by performing meaningless stunts on the streets and endangering the lives of the other commuters that use them.

PS – I love the Mercedes McLaren SLR but the day I hopefully buy one, I’m going to sign up for a crash course in performance driving.

Handling the Recession

Researchers and financial analysts (these are the same people that said the US economy was solid for the next 2 decades by the way) say that even through we’re undergoing a recession; some communities are seemingly less affected by the global downturn than the others. This means that if you’re in healthcare or education, you’re less likely to lose your job than if you are in the banking or financial services sectors. Of course this doesn’t mean that teachers, doctors and nurses are recession proof; it just means they are harder to get rid of than the annoying investment consultant bugging you with incessant phone calls telling you to diversify your stock portfolio.

Maybe it's about time some of us switched professions? ;-) Either way, I think we're lucky we live in the GCC. Although things are rough at the moment with job-cuts, pay-cuts and budget-cuts, at least we're better off than the people in the US where the scene is almost literally cut-throat!

What's in a title?

Some of you might find this post familiar. It's just my article for the bazaar magazine for the month of February. It might be a little too stale and the moment but the topic still makes my head boil at times......and sometimes makes me laugh until I almost puke my guts out! Anyway....read on:

What qualifies a person to be a manager? Or what qualifies a person to be a Director or Vice President for that matter? Let’s take a peek at how titles are derived these days.

I don’t mean to pass judgment on the people that have gone up the ladder the old fashioned way – hard work, hands-on experience and leadership abilities among many other traits. It’s just that in recent times we have seen an unusual, almost abnormal growth of titles in large corporations and medium sized company. Gone are the days when being a Sales Manager or Product Manager was the “in” thing. Now we have complex titles like Manager, International Relations, Middle East & Africa or Senior Corporate Advisor, Asia & Emerging Markets. They have titles, subtitles and the area in which they function both in terms of the company itself and sometimes the geographical location.

Occasionally these fancy titles take about 40 per cent of the space available on a business card (and half your breath away). The people with the titles for the most part are just “suits” or sometimes just “skirts” if I may use that term. People with a fancy degree from an even fancier sounding college or university that speak with a Western accent get fancier titles compared to the rest of the plebeian folk.

What dictates your title and your position in the pecking order of a company? Is it your experience? Is it your capacity to handle complicated projects? Is it your ability to supervise people? Apparently some companies in Kuwait have no clear distinctions. You could be a Vice President and have nobody except an executive assistant reporting to you. You could be in a department of six wherein all six are managers with no sub-ordinates.

Granted sometimes when you are in a Business Development function and you are meeting with higher-ranking members of the business community, it does help if you have a senior (sounding) title on your business card. However that does not mean you hire people who have just graduated out of a top university and give them a superior title to impress your clients and this seems to be the case in Kuwait of late.

In my opinion, companies in Kuwait have to draw a line on how to award titles. For instance, if you are in the capacity of Business Development Manager, are you in a position to draw up a Business Plan for the product or service that you are selling? Are you able to segregate strategic, tactical and day-to-day decisions and create a plan that will incorporate all these fundamentals? In most cases, I’ll tell you right now, the answer is no. Fine, they probably can drum up an exciting presentation in PowerPoint with fancy bells and whistles and sophisticated graphs and pie charts but tell them to do something a little more strategic in nature and they’ll shun you like the plague! They make simple projects sounds as convoluted as knitting sweaters for an entire football team blindfolded in semi-circles!

This is something I have experienced. I meet these kinds of people on a daily basis all the time. These are the people who have offices of their own and disapprove of working in cubicles. They are the kind of people who appear to be real busy (taking a page right out of Dilbert) staring into their laptops all day making you think they’re diligent workers who have an urge to make it to the top. Little known to the common folk is that these people are actually silently chatting away their time on MSN or of late (Face-booking their profile). Or they could be YouTubing too! What is amusing is their skill on how to maximize and minimize applications in Windows is so flawless that they can make you believe they’ve been working hard on a global product pricing graph all day when the truth of the matter is they’ve been chatting to some East European girl promising to walk down the aisle with them and bring them to Kuwait for better prospects.

Personally I could care less if these people become CEOs within the next year or two. I would rather hone my skills as a professional and climb the ladder – the right way. To those people with flamboyant titles, all I can say is – Damn shame!

Parking Woes!!!

Parking has always been a problem in Kuwait. From parking at work to parking in crowded streets to even paid parking lots. We find people doing all sorts of nonsense when it comes to parking. Let's break it down into a few categories:

Take for instance the Asian expatriates who drive their Kuwaiti sponsor's cars. Man, just because you're driving a Lexus or a BMW 7 Series, doesn't mean you get to behave rude and obnoxious like your bosses! First of all these people drive like peacocks on a mating spree and when they're waiting for their sponsors to come out pf the malls, they wait right at the entrance blocking other drivers from passing. And heaven forbid you blow your horn, they give you that stare that makes you think they're actually the owners of those fancy cars who just have absolutely no dress sense!

There those other kind of people who think that it is their God-given right to take all their time when getting into their cars after a bout of shopping. It could take anything between 30 seconds to 45 minutes for ladies (who are heavily made up) to get into their car, get out to throw their Oscar De La Renta bag in the back seat, climb into the driver's seat again, adjust the rear view mirror (while simultaneously checking to see if their heavy make up is still on), turning on the ignition and almost rear-ending the vehicle behind theirs while getting out of a seemingly easy-to-get-out-of parking spot. They might not want to Asian driver waiting for them but this is worse than that; at least for people waiting for their turn to park. Ladies, please learn to differentiate between N, D and R in our gear shift.

Then there are stalkers who stalk parking spaces. These people drive slow and steady smack in the middle of the parking lot with little regard for the people behind them. Their only aim is to obtain the parking slot right next to the entrance of a mall or supermarket despite the large number of empty spaces that exist in the next lane. They don't mind waiting for even 15 minutes if it secures their spot right next to the entrance. Now all they need is a red carpet and the steely white flashes of the paparazzi!

Then you have those stupid paid parking lots especially in downtown Kuwait City. You pay to enter and despite that you spend about 20 minutes finding a spot. The whole concept of ease of use has been lost here and this happens quite a lot during rush hour. Why don’t they just keep track of the number of cars they let in and stop people from entering once it is full?

Let's not forget, there are those dim-wit numb-skulls that think they have the right to park in two spots instead of one. They either don't see the white line separating two spots of they just don't care. They park diagonally and think it's a mater of style or it shows off their driving (in this case parking) prowess. These people really piss me off – selfish fu#ks!

Finally, there are the people who block someone else thinking "he's not going to move…..I'll be back in a jiffy". Now these are probably the people who come home from the office for a quick lunch and get caught up in an afternoon quickie that they need to take a small nap after it's done. Forget about the poor soul downstairs that has to get to the office or an appointment on time, he can wait until I finish my nap and get another quickie on my way out!

Why do I ask you are people so inconsiderate? Why is it that they are so lazy? Why do they think they're the only people privileged to drive on the roads? Do any of you want to add to these categories?

People and cars!

I have made an astute observation. The car you drive speaks about your personality. For the most part it does........and definitely more-so in this country!

For someone to drive a Toyota Echo or Nissan Sunny simply means that he or she has absolutely no knowledge about cars and couldn't give a damn! He or she wants to get from point A to point B and couldn't care how that trip is made. The interiors are shabby and cheap. Albeit all the improvements and additional accessories Nissan has introduced in the new Sunny, it still feels like driving a gypsy caravan without prizefighter Mickey O'Neil in Snatch!

The same goes for people that drive the Echo. Looking at the instrument panel is like looking at a cheap Casio calculator. Needless to say the shape of the car is a complete turn-off. It's like a frog made of fiber! Or maybe something you'd get if a Corolla spat out a car! I'm glad they stopped making it. The replacement - the Yaris also has a lot to be desired but at least it looks better than its predecessor!

The people that drive these cars; what can we say about them? According to my observation, these are the people that do 80 kmph on a 120 lane! They're the ones who'll wait for an eternity to cross an intersection. And they'll drive so defensively that you get the feeling they're driving like everyone else on the road wants to kill them. Pisses the hell out of me!

Bottom line; if you can't afford anything else, wait. Get a used Lancer, Corolla or Peugeot 207 but don't buy an Echo or Sunny!

Why do we live here?

I just got back from a vacation in London a week ago. If you're wondering why I didn't post anything on this blog since then it's because I proposed to my girl in London, she said yes and I was just reveling in the joy of being engaged! Now that the effect has worn off (to a certain extent) I am back to my blogging ways!

For the most part of my travels in the past, I didn't really bother about coming back to Kuwait from a vacation. Probably because it didn't matter that much at the time. On this return journey however, I just got this sinking feeling as soon as I landed into Kuwait. Partially because I was missing my fiancee. But more than anything else, it was because I was back in the land of the rude. In a country where the phrases "please" and "excuse me" have as much value as a screaming nun in a cemetary! I was transported from a land where people (although snooty) are polite, to a land where people are snooty, impolite and to a certain extent downright dumb. I refer to the people at immigration desks (including the women). Does it really cost them to be polite? Maybe smiling is something they reserve for weddings or hitting on people of the opposite sex and think it is wasted on travelers coming into the country but at least be civil instead of yelling out orders.

Makes you wonder doesn't it? If it wasn't for the money, we'd be long gone from here! Damn shame!

Stand out....don't blend in!

I am dumbfounded by the lack of creativity in Kuwait sometimes. I'm talking a about the same voices you hear doing jingles and commercials on Kuwait radio every morning. I'm talking about the same automated voice you hear when you call at least 3 or 4 leading banks in Kuwait. For some reason people making these cheap works of shame seem to think that associating a familiar voice in their automated voice system will enhance their reputation as they feel they're using a celebrity voice to a certain extent. Little to those fools realize that people CAN spot the similarities in the voices. For an organization of any international repute, it's important to have a clear-cut image and segregate it from the usual hum drum. Oh ye exalted people of the advertising world (in Kuwait), can you absolutely not find another voice to do those jingles? Having to hear the same voices over and over again just irritates the living crap out of me (sometimes it is good when I'm constipated but otherwise it's just annoying)

I just have one piece of advice for you - stand out instead of blending in….you idiots!

A Crane in the neck!

Kuwait has been bitten by the construction bug. Everywhere you go, you see buildings being constructed at a furious pace. Gone are the days when it would take over a year to get a building constructed. Nowadays you have a 12 storey apartment complex come up in about 6 months!

What really bothers me apart from the shoddy construction that starts to crumble even before you've managed arrange your furniture, is the way the entire process is managed. Cranes blocking the street during peak traffic hours, scaffolding material lying around on a public road along with cement and rubble. It's bad enough that the standard of material the contractors use is poor, now the standard of contruction is just as bad if not worse. Apart from causing huge blockages in traffic which can be a nuisance when you're off to work in the morning, what's worse is they do it like it's their damn birthright - to block streets.

There are numerous methods of construction (mainly adopted in developed countries) that require minimal usage of public areas. Seeing how technology has improved so much that you can (seemingly) build complexes in a matter of months, I'm sure the same can be done to conserve the sanity of the landscape around construction sites! In fact in places in Europe and North America, contractors are fined heavily for blocking public access, something the government in Kuwait should seriously think about considering the construction boom that has hit the country.

For now I am just annoyed at having to take a longer route to get the the highway from my house thanks to two large cranes that have partially and completely blocked access for me respectively. A crane in the neck I tell you........or is it 2 cranes in the ass? ;-)

Kuwait - in the 80s!

Having spent a considerable amount of my childhood (1984 -90) in Kuwait, one can surely understand why I loved the eighties. Although my love for the era and the place was not evident back then (I always wanted to grow up and start shaving) looking at things presently, one can only turn to nostalgia of the yesteryears and remember the great times.

I remember the TV shows they used to show us. Mainly KTV and I have to admit compared to some of the other regional channels back then KTV was a hit. Bringing us hit shows like Silver Spoons, Macgyver, The A Team, Magnum PI, Knight Rider and the likes. I won't get into these since I've already posted on 80s shows earlier this month. Do you guys remember Chart Attack? Compared to channels like Dubai One and MBC, KTV is crap now!

I remember the old Salmiya shopping area even though I wasn't much of a Salmiya guy. We as kids loved going there and hanging out. The Gulf Road was barely ready (at least during the early eighties) and there weren't as many traffic lights.

My mom used to work at Safeway across from the Crowne Plaza (the Holiday inn back then). The sixth ring road was fairly new and less traveled and I remember waiting at least 5 minutes before I could cross it and go to Kids R us and Safeway!

Safeway and The Sultan Center were the only 2 supermarkets in the country that were open 24 hours. The co-ops were just crappy!

I don't quite remember if Pizza Hut was around but Pizza Italia was the best and they always had some kind of promos running. Of course Kentucky Fried Chicken and Hardees were some of the other few international fast-food joints and Hungry Bunny was THE place for burgers. I think there was an Arby's too but I didn’t go there that often. I remember Wimpy's too!

As an Indian the only live local band I knew of then was "Next of Kin" who I think are still in action (the old dinosaurs). DJing wasn't DJing, it was just playing a tape recorder connected to an amplifier. Walkmans were THE thing for us kids back then and so were Archie comics!

As an Indian I remember the rivalry between the Indian School Salmiya and New Indian School Jabriya. We used o get into a lot of fights with all the spray painting and stoning!

I remember Atari & Nintendo. Atari was more popular and I had about 3 sets that I eventually broke (due to overuse)

I also remember Like Cola and RC Cola. Vimto and Shaani were very popular and so was Sunkist!

The Holiday Inn had the first bowling alley (which I am told was a discotheque earlier) and was quite the hangout for young adults. And whatever happened to that boat they had turned into a hotel (was it the Marriott?)

I remember Muthanna Complex in Kuwait City being the only "cool" place to hang out with the clothing stores and the gaming arcades!

I remember the Rubick's cube being a major source of entertainment along with game-in-watches and those other Casio watched with calculators!

I remember Farwaniya and Hawalli being Palestinian ghettos and the Palestinians themselves were quite the kingpins driving Trans-Ams that were a tad bit noisy.

I don't remember the roads being as congested as they are today and people drove a lot better and with a lot more consideration & road sense.

I remember Kuwait – it was certainly a better place to live in. Maybe it's just because we were kids then and didn't have a care in the world except homework and collecting skittles for prizes! Things have definitely changed now.

All in all they were great times. Ah nostalgia – makes us grow old sometimes! Do you guys remember anything from the eighties in Kuwait?

Orkut to be banned in Kuwait?

This post stems from the article I read this morning in the Arab Times stating that the Ministry of Information plans on banning acess to the popular community networking site orkut.com in the near future. Are these guys for real? Afte the governments of Iran, Saudi Arabia (no surprises there) and the UAE (surprisingly) Kuwait is soon to follow apparently.

Orkut is a communitiy based website similar to hi5 and facebook that enables users to post profiles, comments and network. A lof of my friends and other people I know have actually got in touch with lost friends through this website and it's one of the most popular sites in the world especially since it was bought by Google earlier this year.

The governments mentioned above are supposedly afraid of the content that is posted on this website and the fact that users can create multiple profiles and this may lead to fraud, racism and probably propogation of violence and hate groups. Seeing that the internet is one big cauldron of information that can by and large be controlled by users, I don't see the point in banning a site like orkut. What the government does not realize is that there are ways to control this sort of thing. Perhaps they can poilce the site and restrict access to objectionable content. It beats banning access to the site completely. Come to think of it no site or community on the internet is safe from this. That doesnt mean you're going to ban the internet entirely does it?

Karaoke Kings - In Kuwait???

Karaoke is one of those new fads that actually allows you to become the lead singer of the rock band you always dreamed of fronting. At least if you don't mind losing your inhibitions after a few minutes at a karaoke bar.

Karaoke bars of course were always around but the prevailance of new gizmos and software has now made it possible to bring it home to the confines of your own living room! And we here in Kuwait are doing just that (it's funny what the absence of a good pub or bar can do to you).

Karaoke singing is a great release, a way to let all the events of the day disappear, to let loose and have a good time! If you're feeling a bit voyeurish, you can just sit back and enjoy everyone else’s attempt to sing karaoke (and look stupid mind you). It is quite entertaining, listening to people that are really good, people having fun with it, and people that just have no clue whatsoever(these are the people you might want to clobber with a baseball bat because they've murdered the song for you)

All in all I think we've finally managed to catch on to a new fad and we'd hopefully like to hang on to it until we get bored (which will be in a few weeks) or until the next best stress release is released! ;-)

Hipocracy - how dumb to people actually think we are?

Isn't it funny how people say something and mean the total opposite of what they say?

Now I live in Kuwait which is to be honest not an extremely bad place to live in. That is if you don't mind the racism once in a while. And every now and then you meet people who say that they're totally opposed to racism and are al for equal treatment you actually think to yourself "here's someone I might actually get along with" or "finally I've met someone who respects people for who they are and not for the color of their skin or their religion"

And while in your head you\re thinking of how cool this person is, he or she will make a real dumb statement that'll make you want to stuff yesterday's leftover linguini down his or her throat!

Hard to believe? Well I'm telling you the truth - except for the linguini part. I'm Indian so I'd rather use chapati (an Indian form of bread similar to pita bread) instead!

Ok people I'm just getting started on bloggin so please excuse my inane rantings sometimes.