Do we really need Ivy League champions to manage our businesses in Kuwait?

It amuses me when I read about how companies in Kuwait are looking specifically for certain type of candidates to fill certain positions. Candidates that have graduated out of prestigious Ivy league schools. Some of you might ask me why?

Simply because I don't see any improvements in the way business is done in Kuwait on the whole. There are no seemingly noticeable improvements in the way these businesses are run and more importantly, there is no improvement in service! Why then do these companies insist on hiring candidates that have graduated out the Harvards, Stanfords, Oxfords, Enseads and IIMs of the world? Do they really plan on utilizing the talents of these individuals or is it just a way for CEOs to brag...

"I've got 3 Harvard graduates in my BD team"

"That's nothing, I've got 2 guys from Stanford, a guy from Wharton and 4 from IIM."

Let's face it, Kuwait is a small country. As much as I don't like Dubai, if someone told me they were looking for these kind of people, I'd believe it. Simply because, financial/real estate crisis or not, you can see the big developments in the emirate. You can see that they have a penchant for hiring talented people and getting the best out of them. You see old and new companies taking risks, building brands and engaging customers. You see new projects on the horizon all the time; the world's tallest, fattest, shortest, widest, coolest....arrgh!! The point is, we see developments taking place every now and then. So the need for these people is almost autonomously justified.

This is more than I can say for their counterparts in Kuwait. Apart from a handful of companies here, I can't seem to fathom the idea that a fresh Kellogg or IIM grad can do a better job at managing a brand in Kuwait than a guy with hardcore experience. Business ideas lack creativity, overall treatment of employees is below par with the rest of the world and again, customer service in Kuwait is appalling. How then are these companies utilizing the talents of these people positively? Do we see any developments on the horizon?

Personally, I think instead of hiring these "Ivy league champions", companies would do better if they just spent their money on training their customer service staff on better (or should I daresay - basic) customer service ideologies; that would be money well spent! Which once again brings me to my question, why hire ONLY graduates from these colleges when you've got talented people waiting for opportunities?

Frankly, I think it's a scam to make their companies look good to the outside world. I know there will be a few naysayers that want to diss this blogpost thinking quality people equals quality output. I'd almost agree with that except for the fact that: it only takes a good mechanic to fix a car, not an automobile engineer!

How about a 4sim?

I had stopped posting about tech stuff since I figured there are a ton of other people that seem to know more about tech stuff that I do. Besides, we’d be talking about the same thing anyway so what’s the point right? This post however isn’t about the technology. Well at least not entirely. It’s about the preposterousness (I think that’s a word) and the absurdity of the idea. Read on.

Have you ever seen guys with more than 2 mobile phones? I have. In fact I know someone with 4 mobile phones although he doesn’t carry more than 2 phones at a time. One of the numbers is always carried while he picks and chooses which of the remaining three he’ll carry with him. Of course, he’s got a Blackberry, an iPhone, a Samsung and another one I can’t seem to remember. The only reason I remember so much is because I was fascinated with this guy’s obsession of being so “in touch” with his network that he had to get 4 phones. I was also curious about his sanity. My guess is he needs just one phone and the others are to keep track of his girlfriends/mistresses! Or maybe they’re for different business? Bah….who knows!!!

Eiher way, enter – Dody, a Chinese mobile manufacturer that has taken into accounts dweebs like this guy and made a phone just for the likes of him. Here’s a phone that has slots for 4 SIM chips and what’s even better, the e-flyer attached says you can use them all at once! (If you can't view the flyer, visit: http://www.dody.mobi/ )

What will the come up with next? Seriously, this isn’t a rhetorical question. What WILL they come up with next?

Will we ever live as ONE!

The other day I was thinking about how different countries have different defence, military and development programs that it can benefit from. Some countries even go to the extent of setting up bases and platforms in other countries or territories to get the upper hand on their neighbours and rivals. Then I chanced upon watching an episode of “V” a TV show that airs on MBC Action that revolves around a species of aliens that have come to earth from a galaxy far far away. They claim to want to live in peace with the people of earth and exchange knowledge and technology etc.but it turns out they lied and just want to conquer earth. It’s a remake of a popular 80s TV mini series that I watched as a kid. However, the plot of the storyline isn’t the point here. The point is in one of the episodes, their commander or leader tells the people of Earth that from where she comes from, there are no countries and everyone on their planet acts in the interest of the planet.

That got me thinking, when will we act like that? For centuries we have fought against one another. Different human configurations have always fought for supremacy and the reasons were manifold; racial, political, geographical and technological superiority. When, if ever, do you think will we ever begin to start thinking as citizens of the world instead of nationals of a particular country? When will we unite as one race? A race of humans! Do we have to wait for a few centuries before we start traveling in spaceships and have no more earth to conquer after the ravages of war? It is definitely something to think about. Either way, John Lennon surmises this best in his unforgettable song, Imagine. Here’s one verse for you to ponder upon!

Imagine there's no countries,

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace

Happy Liberation & National Day to my Kuwaiti friends!

I must admit, I feel for the Kuwaiti population during the Liberation and National day holidays. I am not saying this just because of the traffic during this time, I say this because I really feel for them.

Ok, I don't really love the country to pieces but I do have a certain connection to the place. I was born here and have spent half my life here. I have had many memorable childhood memories growing up watching Knight Rider & Chart Attack on KTV2, collecting Galactica cards and hanging out at Arby's, Pizza Italia and Hungry Bunny in the old Salmiya Souq area as a kid!
But what saddens me is that while the country celebrates the National & Liberation day holidays (in more ghastly ways that one can imagine) the people seem to lack a proper sense of belonging to a nation. For a country that is extremely young, there doesnt seem to be anything to look forward to. Apart for the old-timers who used to be proud citizens, apart from a few people we read about in local magazines, the younger generation does not seem to understand the true meaning of being liberated. For them it is about going to the "west" getting an American or British education and coming back to flaunt their degrees to get better paying jobs as opposed to giving back to the country. Physically it may tbe the liberation of Kuwait from Iraq in 1991 that we celebrate but metaphorically to me, it's being liberated from the shackles of complacency and looking forward o a bright future.

It's not about spraying cars with foam or not about dancing on the streets of Kuwait with face paint and colorful flags. And it's certainly not about checking out the women through a smokescreen of red, white and green tassles and waterguns. If only these people understood the true meaning of being liberated, there wouldn't be 11 deaths in 65 road accidents in a span of 4 days as reported in the newspapers. Perhaps the country should work towards giving these people what they deserve to realize the meaning of liberation and the true meaning of belonging to a country.

Taming the beast on the Kuwait roads

I just got back from a crazy day driving on the streets of Kuwait City. I must admit, while Kuwait has a decent set of roads; the people on them don't seem to be half as decent. In my 15 minute drive from Kuwait City to the Airport, I got cut off by 4 fancy sports cars (2 Porsches, a Massarati and a Nissan Z350).

Of course, other people driving other cars also cut of me off but my bitch for the day is the people with the fancy roadsters specifically the Porches, Ferraris, the Lambos and the Masseratis. Albeit the fact that over 90% of the people that own these cars in Kuwait buy them because of upholding their status is true. What pisses me off is that most of the people that drive these machines don't have the slightest idea how to drive them.

My friend Q8 Apothecary (whose blog seems to have gone into hibernation) has summed it best on one of his posts a few years ago. It's not about how many horsepower your car has, it's about the guy or girl behind the wheel (in our case, the moron) behind the wheel that matters. Super cars specifically the Ferraris and Porches need to be driven specifically. They are not your every day commuter vehicles, they are not drag racing cars and most of all, they are to be driven with skill and precision. This is one of the main reasons we see rash and negligent driving on the streets that results in injuries and death. And we wonder why Kuwait has one of the highest accident rates in this part of the world?

Who might I ask is to be blamed for this? Is it the dealers who do not bother to offer basic drivers training to new buyers? Is it the parents who indulge their kids with luxuries for fear of being called insufficient providers? Or is it the fault of the drivers themselves who neglect all road sense and sensibility for want of fame and an adrenalin rush?

Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't buy a Porchse. In fact, if you can afford it, go ahead and buy one right away. But before you take to the wheel, try and understand how the machine responds to your touch. A super car is like a beast that needs taming. And until you understand how to be one with your machine, please don't take to crazy antics on the streets or think for one minute that you are licensed to thrill by performing meaningless stunts on the streets and endangering the lives of the other commuters that use them.

PS – I love the Mercedes McLaren SLR but the day I hopefully buy one, I’m going to sign up for a crash course in performance driving.

Annoying Online Promotion

Have you received an email from "President Nelson Mandela" at "S.A. 2010 WORLD CUP PROMOTION" saying you won their promotion or lottery promo and to contact "MR.OWEN DOUGLAS" to collect your winnings? It is a scam. And don't get too excited if the names are different; the scammers make many versions of this scam!
It is actually a very simple scam. They claim you won a promotion, which is giving away millions of dollars based on a randomly selected email address. The scam is obvious: it's simply preposterous to think that any company would randomly give away money to encourage you to buy their product. That would be self-defeating.
There are many other signs that this is a fraud that we have highlighted in the email below, not the least of which are:
- Email address ballot: There is no such thing as a "computer ballot system" or "computer email draw". No one, not even Microsoft has a database of email addresses of the type or magnitude they suggest.
- Terrible spelling, punctuation, syntax and grammar - Scammers apparently don't know how to use spell checkers. I assume they dropped out of school before that class. They use almost random CapItaLiZAtion and often can't even spell "February" or know that "22th" ought to be "22nd". These scammers usually write at the 3rd grade level.
- Using a free email account: The scammer is writing to you from a FREE email account (Yahoo, Hotmail, etc.). Don't you think a real organization would use its own email, its own domain and website? Wouldn't they want to promote that?
- What are they promoting? No one promotes "world peace" or "use of the internet" by handing out millions to random strangers. And if they are promoting a product, then this must be the world's worst promotion, because no one has heard of it, outside of the email you just received.
- Pay a fee to collect the prize: Nope, it is illegal for free sweepstakes and promotions to charge you ANYTHING! Of course, in a scam, that is the whole point: to get you to send money to the scammer

So if any one of you receives this kind of email asking them to be a part of the promotion, you know what to do.

Are you a Facebook Addict?

Have you ever experienced some kind of a high after noticing that someone sent you a comment on Facebook, someone tagged a photo of you doing something either incredibly nasty or stupid or possibly both? Are you one of those people that spends endless amounts of time looking through people’s profiles on Facebook and other such community networking sites? If the description fits you, you’re a Facebook Addict!

I thoroughly understand when something’s new and we all want to be constantly on it especially in today’s high tech digital world where everything is…..well digital! I was quite excited when I signed up on Facebook 2 years ago. I learnt a few new things about some people I know, caught up with old friends and had some laughs looking at old pics.

It's always great to catch up with old friends from around the globe and see pictures of their kids and the family vacations I guess. But people, please know when to draw the line. I read somewhere that a lady was prosecuted when she ignored her daughter’s request for homework help because she was too tied up with Facebook. Turns out she spent an average of 10 hours on the website!

On a separate note, sites like Facebook promote a certain narcissistic approach towards one’s self. I think it is because we think we are all interesting, we feel the need to let people know about the important details in our lives. But seriously people, know to differentiate between the milestones & the unwanted notes in your status updates. You might want to share the fact that you just got married or gave birth to a really cute baby but please don’t let me know if you’ve just trimmed your toe-nails or shaved your goatee! And yeah another thing; if you’re down and depressed, how about you pick up the phone and call a friend. (this holds true for bloggers as well btw)

Here are 4 signs that you may be a Facebook or Twitter Addict:
- You spend over an hour on Facebook a day
- You spend half your time at work on Facebook
- You’re spending time sending your Facebook buddies virtual gifts, drinks and forgetting the real world of friends
- You’re accumilating a lot of Facebook time reconnecting with your high school sweetheart (particularly inappropriate if either one of you or the both of you are married)

Ways you can detox from sites like Facebook or Twitter:
- Disable SMS alerts from facebook and Twitter; these can be quite distracting especially when you’re enjoying a holiday with the family or a quiet weekend with your girl.
- Stop adding friends. In real life, you’d never be able to keep up with all the 300+ people on your Facebook or Twitter account so at least when you stop adding friends, you’ll keep your circle of friends down to a more manageable level.
- Make friends with people that are not or these sites. And when they ask you if you’ve heard abuot them, pretend you don’t know what they are! ;-)
- Call your close friends or try and meet up with them if you can instead of leaving him or her a tweet or a wall posting

The best piece of advice; check your profile once a month (like me) and only make contact with people you know well or knew well but went out of touch with over the years. And remember, making new friends is an art best practiced in person, not online. Cheers!

What's in a title?

Some of you might find this post familiar. It's just my article for the bazaar magazine for the month of February. It might be a little too stale and the moment but the topic still makes my head boil at times......and sometimes makes me laugh until I almost puke my guts out! Anyway....read on:

What qualifies a person to be a manager? Or what qualifies a person to be a Director or Vice President for that matter? Let’s take a peek at how titles are derived these days.

I don’t mean to pass judgment on the people that have gone up the ladder the old fashioned way – hard work, hands-on experience and leadership abilities among many other traits. It’s just that in recent times we have seen an unusual, almost abnormal growth of titles in large corporations and medium sized company. Gone are the days when being a Sales Manager or Product Manager was the “in” thing. Now we have complex titles like Manager, International Relations, Middle East & Africa or Senior Corporate Advisor, Asia & Emerging Markets. They have titles, subtitles and the area in which they function both in terms of the company itself and sometimes the geographical location.

Occasionally these fancy titles take about 40 per cent of the space available on a business card (and half your breath away). The people with the titles for the most part are just “suits” or sometimes just “skirts” if I may use that term. People with a fancy degree from an even fancier sounding college or university that speak with a Western accent get fancier titles compared to the rest of the plebeian folk.

What dictates your title and your position in the pecking order of a company? Is it your experience? Is it your capacity to handle complicated projects? Is it your ability to supervise people? Apparently some companies in Kuwait have no clear distinctions. You could be a Vice President and have nobody except an executive assistant reporting to you. You could be in a department of six wherein all six are managers with no sub-ordinates.

Granted sometimes when you are in a Business Development function and you are meeting with higher-ranking members of the business community, it does help if you have a senior (sounding) title on your business card. However that does not mean you hire people who have just graduated out of a top university and give them a superior title to impress your clients and this seems to be the case in Kuwait of late.

In my opinion, companies in Kuwait have to draw a line on how to award titles. For instance, if you are in the capacity of Business Development Manager, are you in a position to draw up a Business Plan for the product or service that you are selling? Are you able to segregate strategic, tactical and day-to-day decisions and create a plan that will incorporate all these fundamentals? In most cases, I’ll tell you right now, the answer is no. Fine, they probably can drum up an exciting presentation in PowerPoint with fancy bells and whistles and sophisticated graphs and pie charts but tell them to do something a little more strategic in nature and they’ll shun you like the plague! They make simple projects sounds as convoluted as knitting sweaters for an entire football team blindfolded in semi-circles!

This is something I have experienced. I meet these kinds of people on a daily basis all the time. These are the people who have offices of their own and disapprove of working in cubicles. They are the kind of people who appear to be real busy (taking a page right out of Dilbert) staring into their laptops all day making you think they’re diligent workers who have an urge to make it to the top. Little known to the common folk is that these people are actually silently chatting away their time on MSN or of late (Face-booking their profile). Or they could be YouTubing too! What is amusing is their skill on how to maximize and minimize applications in Windows is so flawless that they can make you believe they’ve been working hard on a global product pricing graph all day when the truth of the matter is they’ve been chatting to some East European girl promising to walk down the aisle with them and bring them to Kuwait for better prospects.

Personally I could care less if these people become CEOs within the next year or two. I would rather hone my skills as a professional and climb the ladder – the right way. To those people with flamboyant titles, all I can say is – Damn shame!

Parking Woes!!!

Parking has always been a problem in Kuwait. From parking at work to parking in crowded streets to even paid parking lots. We find people doing all sorts of nonsense when it comes to parking. Let's break it down into a few categories:

Take for instance the Asian expatriates who drive their Kuwaiti sponsor's cars. Man, just because you're driving a Lexus or a BMW 7 Series, doesn't mean you get to behave rude and obnoxious like your bosses! First of all these people drive like peacocks on a mating spree and when they're waiting for their sponsors to come out pf the malls, they wait right at the entrance blocking other drivers from passing. And heaven forbid you blow your horn, they give you that stare that makes you think they're actually the owners of those fancy cars who just have absolutely no dress sense!

There those other kind of people who think that it is their God-given right to take all their time when getting into their cars after a bout of shopping. It could take anything between 30 seconds to 45 minutes for ladies (who are heavily made up) to get into their car, get out to throw their Oscar De La Renta bag in the back seat, climb into the driver's seat again, adjust the rear view mirror (while simultaneously checking to see if their heavy make up is still on), turning on the ignition and almost rear-ending the vehicle behind theirs while getting out of a seemingly easy-to-get-out-of parking spot. They might not want to Asian driver waiting for them but this is worse than that; at least for people waiting for their turn to park. Ladies, please learn to differentiate between N, D and R in our gear shift.

Then there are stalkers who stalk parking spaces. These people drive slow and steady smack in the middle of the parking lot with little regard for the people behind them. Their only aim is to obtain the parking slot right next to the entrance of a mall or supermarket despite the large number of empty spaces that exist in the next lane. They don't mind waiting for even 15 minutes if it secures their spot right next to the entrance. Now all they need is a red carpet and the steely white flashes of the paparazzi!

Then you have those stupid paid parking lots especially in downtown Kuwait City. You pay to enter and despite that you spend about 20 minutes finding a spot. The whole concept of ease of use has been lost here and this happens quite a lot during rush hour. Why don’t they just keep track of the number of cars they let in and stop people from entering once it is full?

Let's not forget, there are those dim-wit numb-skulls that think they have the right to park in two spots instead of one. They either don't see the white line separating two spots of they just don't care. They park diagonally and think it's a mater of style or it shows off their driving (in this case parking) prowess. These people really piss me off – selfish fu#ks!

Finally, there are the people who block someone else thinking "he's not going to move…..I'll be back in a jiffy". Now these are probably the people who come home from the office for a quick lunch and get caught up in an afternoon quickie that they need to take a small nap after it's done. Forget about the poor soul downstairs that has to get to the office or an appointment on time, he can wait until I finish my nap and get another quickie on my way out!

Why do I ask you are people so inconsiderate? Why is it that they are so lazy? Why do they think they're the only people privileged to drive on the roads? Do any of you want to add to these categories?

What kind of a name do you have?

I have always thought of the naming game as a little too cumbersome. Babies should come with name-tags as soon as they're born. Some of us who are fortunate enough to have been blessed with an average intellect have the foresight to give decent names to our kids. First it was the west. Gone are names like John, James, Christopher, Howard and Robert. Nowadays people in the US especially have taken a liking to names like Hayden, Jayden, DiShawn etc.

Then you have people who want to make their race obvious with their names. For instance you know babies with the names Keisha, Delroy, Desiree, Tyrone, Francine or Darius are most certainly African Americans. Just like Alexander, Casey, Jamie are predominantly white baby names! Then there are people who like to change the way their kid's names are spelt. So now you have Brayan, Jayson, Jenipher, Nancee & Justyn! Thanks to the Beckams we now have people naming their kids after cities (in the case of the Beckams it was after their baby was conceived. Brooklyn was where their first-born was supposedly conceived so they named him after the New York borough. What will we have next, New Hampshire, Maine, Khartoum, Addis Ababa? Then there are those descriptive names. In a way it's like the names are telling you what the baby will grow up to be. You have Butler, Porter, Fancy (Yes, I met someone with that name), Destiny (what are the chances she won't be a fortune-teller?) and Castro. If you're naming your daughter Ruth, you're making her out to be an 80 year old nun. Blanche might not sound like a nun's name but it's like saying come over and spend some time with old grandma Blanche in the senior citizen's home.

Even Indians seem to be getting a little overboard with naming their kids these days. Earlier there were names like Ravi, Shyam, Ram, Shekhar, Rukmini and Gita. Todays names are a little complicated like Rushil, Ramon, Revati and Ruchira. For the most part they're all right one could say. But within India let's take a looksey at a few of the states. Goans like to be considered a different part of India. Apart from the politicians most of the normal people (mostly Christians) think they live in a different country. They wear western clothes, (try to speak with a Western accent) and give everything they do a Portuguese story. When it comes to names, Goans like fancy sounding ones. They think their baby will grow up to be famous with a fancy name. Royston is a favorite among the clan and so are variations of other popular names. Other names like Glenville (Goans actually have these kind of names) are better reserved for small town with populations of less than 200 people. Then you have Goodwin, Godwin, Larry, Gary (and sometimes Garry with 2 Rs). A trend that started in the 90s was combining the names of the father and mother to form a new and improved version of the family! ;-) There's Edlin derived from Edward and Linara. (I know these people) There is Milton from Milagres and Tony (which actually is a real name as gay as it may sound). Here's another one – Alvirita derived from Alvito and Rita.

People have also got to realize the implications of naming their kids a silly dorky name. I can't imagine a guy called Willy growing up to be a bouncer or someone called Chantal becoming a UN ambassador someday. How about a president of the US named Porter or Micah?

Seriously, I have a few names in mind for the time I have kids of my own but until then, making fun of other weird and interesting names is all I can do? So…..what's your name again?

The "Yesterday" syndrome!

I'm perplexed by the "yesterday" syndrome. What do you do when your boss or one of your colleagues from another department comes over and asks you to do something? Most of us decide to take the project on and start preparing for it. It's only when the person who assigns you the project says "I want it yesterday" that you start doubting your decision of joining your present company.

Let's face it; the whole "I want it yesterday" syndrome was pretty cool back in the day when it was first made popular. It showed passion and determination. It was used sparingly and with meaning and you sort of respected the people who asked you for stuff yesterday. Nowadays about a decade after it was made popular, a lot of the people at work use that phrase a lot. I want that report on my desk yesterday. I want my car serviced yesterday. I want to be able to fly to the moon and back after going to a tanning salon on Jupiter and a gambling trip to Las Venus – yesterday! Come on people, give it a break!

It's bad enough that we've got so many things to in so little time at work because our superiors keep dumping work on us like we're a sate-of-the-art food processing plant in France. Now we have to deal with morons who ask us to time travel to the past and get stuff done. What initially was seen as passion has been transformed into a rabid joke that is taking over every office. What does that mean in one line? Our bosses are procrastinators. If you think the task had to be completed yesterday, you should have given it to me the day before! It's as simple as that! Why wait until today to assign it to me? What it proves is that these people are not good managers and collaborators and they're even worse at planning!

Do you people have any such gripes about the "yesterday" syndrome?

Why do we live here?

I just got back from a vacation in London a week ago. If you're wondering why I didn't post anything on this blog since then it's because I proposed to my girl in London, she said yes and I was just reveling in the joy of being engaged! Now that the effect has worn off (to a certain extent) I am back to my blogging ways!

For the most part of my travels in the past, I didn't really bother about coming back to Kuwait from a vacation. Probably because it didn't matter that much at the time. On this return journey however, I just got this sinking feeling as soon as I landed into Kuwait. Partially because I was missing my fiancee. But more than anything else, it was because I was back in the land of the rude. In a country where the phrases "please" and "excuse me" have as much value as a screaming nun in a cemetary! I was transported from a land where people (although snooty) are polite, to a land where people are snooty, impolite and to a certain extent downright dumb. I refer to the people at immigration desks (including the women). Does it really cost them to be polite? Maybe smiling is something they reserve for weddings or hitting on people of the opposite sex and think it is wasted on travelers coming into the country but at least be civil instead of yelling out orders.

Makes you wonder doesn't it? If it wasn't for the money, we'd be long gone from here! Damn shame!

Overweight and unrelenting!

This blog-post of mine is to educate some of my fellow Indians. Having worked at the airport for the past 2 years now, I am always inundated by people requesting me to help them with their check-in at the airport. Suffice to say, I work for National Aviation Services more popularly known as NAS. Our primary role at the airport is to provide ground support to airlines that WE handle and fortunately we DO NOT handle Indian Airlines, Air India or Kuwait Airways (they handle themselves) and as such I have no power as an individual or as part of NAS to help these people that request me for favors at the airport. I have actually stopped telling people where I work because the moment you tell them, they just assume you work behind a check-in desk and you can help them sort their problems.

For the most part, people want to check-in excess baggage and want to get away without paying for it. Heaven forbid the airline staff refuses to take the bags on, these people will start ranting about how the airline mistreats them and as passengers they have the right to take on however much baggage they want to.

People, people, people – you’re all idiots to think that you have the right to check-in as much baggage you want. The airplane is a somewhat magical invention that carries tons of weight including passengers and cargo, defies the laws of gravity and transports you from one land to another in a matter of a few hours. Wonder of wonders, the airplane (as magical an invention as it is) has a payload capacity and you have to find it in your good hearts to forgive the airline staff for not checking in your 80 (extra) kgs. Indians in particular have had the reputation of transporting their entire households on one flight and they continue to do so. Believe me people, it’s perfectly normal. Perhaps it would be wise to use a freight forwarder to move your goods (just in case you absolutely HAVE to transport your entire household) to India instead of yelling at unfortunate staff that have the unforgiving job of reasoning with dumb-ass passengers on their inability to accept their excess baggage.

And one last thing – those of you who know me, don’t even dare call me and ask for a favor when you’re traveling. I’ll end up ripping your bags, shredding you vacation clothes and giving you a wedgie! Bon Voyage!

Stand out....don't blend in!

I am dumbfounded by the lack of creativity in Kuwait sometimes. I'm talking a about the same voices you hear doing jingles and commercials on Kuwait radio every morning. I'm talking about the same automated voice you hear when you call at least 3 or 4 leading banks in Kuwait. For some reason people making these cheap works of shame seem to think that associating a familiar voice in their automated voice system will enhance their reputation as they feel they're using a celebrity voice to a certain extent. Little to those fools realize that people CAN spot the similarities in the voices. For an organization of any international repute, it's important to have a clear-cut image and segregate it from the usual hum drum. Oh ye exalted people of the advertising world (in Kuwait), can you absolutely not find another voice to do those jingles? Having to hear the same voices over and over again just irritates the living crap out of me (sometimes it is good when I'm constipated but otherwise it's just annoying)

I just have one piece of advice for you - stand out instead of blending in….you idiots!

A Crane in the neck!

Kuwait has been bitten by the construction bug. Everywhere you go, you see buildings being constructed at a furious pace. Gone are the days when it would take over a year to get a building constructed. Nowadays you have a 12 storey apartment complex come up in about 6 months!

What really bothers me apart from the shoddy construction that starts to crumble even before you've managed arrange your furniture, is the way the entire process is managed. Cranes blocking the street during peak traffic hours, scaffolding material lying around on a public road along with cement and rubble. It's bad enough that the standard of material the contractors use is poor, now the standard of contruction is just as bad if not worse. Apart from causing huge blockages in traffic which can be a nuisance when you're off to work in the morning, what's worse is they do it like it's their damn birthright - to block streets.

There are numerous methods of construction (mainly adopted in developed countries) that require minimal usage of public areas. Seeing how technology has improved so much that you can (seemingly) build complexes in a matter of months, I'm sure the same can be done to conserve the sanity of the landscape around construction sites! In fact in places in Europe and North America, contractors are fined heavily for blocking public access, something the government in Kuwait should seriously think about considering the construction boom that has hit the country.

For now I am just annoyed at having to take a longer route to get the the highway from my house thanks to two large cranes that have partially and completely blocked access for me respectively. A crane in the neck I tell you........or is it 2 cranes in the ass? ;-)

Indian TV - It gets worse by the day!

I'm not saying I have all the time in the world to watch cheesy Indian talent shows but when it's Ramadan and you get home at 4:30 and have lunch, you can't take a nap too soon, you can't work on anything from home so what do you do? Watch some Indian telly.

And from my last post where I pointed out how judges show partiality towards certain contestants it get worse. Now some dingbat judge (we know her as Alka Yagnik) decides that women are getting voted out on purpose and it's a big conspiracy etc etc. The channel then goes on to air sentimental footage on how some ladies think it's unfair that boys get all the votes and the girl that is ousted gets another chance.

Damn you people, do you know anything about TV programming? And what's with the hosts saying it a show for the junta and right out of the blues, judges are given veto powers, arguing rights and permission to show affection towards one contestant? This might be good for TV ratings but it puts a very bad taste in some peoples' mouths. Especially the people who think India is one of the world's largest democracies!

Indian Television Singing Competitions are a big SHAM!

People, I am back from a sabbatical – and needless to say it was good! On with the blogging then :-

For the past few months I have been watching a few episodes of Indian television singing competitions like Indian Idol, Star Voice of India and Sa Re Ga Ma Challenge! Now I'm not a guru on Hindi music although I have been known to occasionally pop in an RD Burman CD every once in a while and while the singing talent at these contests is extraordinary, what pisses me off is the amount of emotion and drama that is weaved into the shows. First it was the weeklu serials, then it was the soaps and now it's the singing contests. They just don't know when to stop.

It's not like the soaps have given us respite from all the emotion (that in most cases doesn’t make much sense) but now the producers have succeeded in making these talent shows emotional as well. Talk about one of the contestants recently getting his old grandmother on stage to get some sympathy votes. (With all due respect to his grandmother who was really very sweet) Or the contestants getting overly emotional and sobbing their asses off when they're eliminated! Get a grip on yourselves people, I know to some it may be a dream to be on television but don’t you believe in the saying "all good things come to those who wait"

I find most of the judges of these shows extremely unprofessional (except Alisha Chinoy on Indian Idol). The judges don't seem to know what kind of behavior is allowed on screen. If they're trying to be controversial like the nut-jobs on shows like Pop Idol and American Idol, then the producers should know that there is a difference in being controversially fair and insanely stupid! Our Indian judges don't seem to be able to make that difference. There is a certain unwritten code of conduct judges need to follow for these kinds of shows. They can't be putting down other contestants and side with their favorite in the manner that some judges on Indian television have been doing for the past few weeks now. They can criticize but they can NOT be biased towards any candidate. Last year American Idol saw Paula Abdoul severely reprimanded by her producers for her (supposed) partiality towards one of the contestants and this wasn't even proved, it was just a speculation!

Another thing that annoyed the hell out of me is that these shows have mentors and once their candidates get ousted, the mentors get all loud and emotional themselves and start canvassing for their students and do silly things like vow to never come back to the show again. Some mentors have even gone on record to say that Indian viewers don't know how to vote! Come on people, the concept of the show demands that the people vote for their favorite contestants and if the Indian population has voted for their choice, they do it out of their own judgment. If the judges or mentors want the candidates of their choice to win the contest, perhaps the lame-brain producers should think twice before making it a voting show for the masses and just let the judges decide themselves.

Damn shame!

Designer Babies!

The media have over the past few years thrown about issues of stem cell research, assisted reproduction and cloning. The making of designer babies as some people like to term them has been in the news for quite a while now. And while countries like the US have initiated and set of boards and committees like its Bioethics council to discuss and proliferate issues related to biomedical technologies.

Some of you may know I write for the popular magazine bazaar in Kuwait and my feature for the coming month is intended to shed some more light on biomedical technology and its pros & cons. As such some of your comments may be used in the article if you don’t mind me publishing your names or we could just use your nicknames in blog-land (don’t know how readers will react to a "flaming carrot")

I personally am not a proponent of designer babies. The fact that we're messing around to create the perfect human being is just plain "wrong" to me. For me biotechnology is more about finding ways to cure some of the most common ailments and diseases in the world today. Some of you may argue that stem cell research has the potential to substantially change the way people are treated for diseases like cancer, Parkinson's and leukemia and while that is true, some scientists have been trying to use the findings of embryonic stem cell research to go to the next level; selling the concept to wealthy families in the guise of designer babies.

A reproductive technology like in-vitro-fertilization is to a certain extent acceptable if the recipients of the artificially fertilized babies are couples that can not conceive a child but there have been reported cases of couples resorting to in-vitro fertilization to just get better children. This is like challenging God to a contest saying we can make better and flawless human beings.

Any views people?

Dumbasses - How many varieties do you know?

This post has been inspired by the large number of stupid people that inhabit the world. With all due respect to everyone reading this blogpost, I am going to whine a little about how certain people just piss you off by being rude, inconsiderate or plain stupid.

Dumbass 01:
These are the people who will try and suck the life out of an elevator button thinking it will get to you faster if you press harder.

Dumbass 02:
These are the people who get to an elevator, see a bunch of other people already waiting for the elevator to get to them, press the damn button a few times just for reassurance. They're the smartases who think that nobody else has pressed the button and it is solely their duty to do so and prevent the rest of the people from looking like fools. (perhaps in Kuwait it is attributed to the "vasta" factor) pull a few stirngs, press a few buttons....

Dumbass 03:
This category just runs into an elevator as soon as the doors open often not allowing persons already inside to step out. These people are either in a real big rush to get hit by a truck or are just desperately in need of a potty break.

Dumbass 04:
Ever knew people who casually ask how you're doing when they see you on the street or at the dricleaners or your local bakala (local convinience store)? Notice, they say "How are ya?" instead of "How ARE you?" My guess on this is that if he or she says "How are ya?" they're really not in the mood to know how you're doing. It's like a lackadaisical approach to the whole greeting."How ARE you?" on the other hand warrants to a few other questions"How is the wife? Kids ok? Blood pressure under control? Watch Die Hard 4.0?" etc etc etc.

In due course of time I am sure I will find at least another 4 dozen categories of dumbasses to write about but in the meanwhile, this will have to do.

Hipocracy - how dumb to people actually think we are?

Isn't it funny how people say something and mean the total opposite of what they say?

Now I live in Kuwait which is to be honest not an extremely bad place to live in. That is if you don't mind the racism once in a while. And every now and then you meet people who say that they're totally opposed to racism and are al for equal treatment you actually think to yourself "here's someone I might actually get along with" or "finally I've met someone who respects people for who they are and not for the color of their skin or their religion"

And while in your head you\re thinking of how cool this person is, he or she will make a real dumb statement that'll make you want to stuff yesterday's leftover linguini down his or her throat!

Hard to believe? Well I'm telling you the truth - except for the linguini part. I'm Indian so I'd rather use chapati (an Indian form of bread similar to pita bread) instead!

Ok people I'm just getting started on bloggin so please excuse my inane rantings sometimes.