Thursday, February 5, 2009

My Wife and I

For those of you wondering why I have been out of circulation for the past many is why:

It’s hard to get out of bed these days. It’s partly due to the chilly weather outside but it’s more to do with something else. It isn’t like the old days when I’d just slam my hand on to the snooze button on my alarm clock. I used to hit the button about 5 times, toss and turn in bed and jump out of it after realizing I had snoozed for an hour! Now I have to adjust to someone else in bed next to me. The first bit of realization that I’m not single anymore (the first bit of realization of the day I mean). I have to be careful not to let my flaying hands hit my wife who’s sleeping snugly. And I realize the real reason I get up late these days; I just can’t seem to drag myself out of bed with her right next to me.

Just to fill you readers in, I got married last month and am just about getting adjusted to it. Honestly, some of my friends told me it would be a piece of cake. Others said it would take a lot of time getting used to. But on the whole, it’s been great!

Why? Because after you’re married, you’re a team. I love having a team-mate who will go to all lengths to ensure our team wins.

Take shopping for instance. My evaluation of products stems from looking for items in attractive packaging. Men don’t generally look at food-color types, calorie content and most importantly – expiry dates. How else would you describe the heaps of expired products in my refrigerator before I got hitched?

Then think about instant foods like making pop corn at home. Unless you’re a chef, you’re not going to take the trouble of putting oil into a frying pan, adding kernels of corn and standing next to a vessel full of them until they’re popped. Men just like popping the stuff into a microwave, giving it 3 to 5 minutes and voila! Pop corn! Or how about salad dressing? How many guys have actually taken the time to prepare the dressing from scratch? Now I am being trained to make every food preparation from scratch.

Being married has its other advantages. It’s great that you’ll find someone who laughs at all your jokes no matter how many times she’s heard them just to make sure you don’t look uninteresting or boring.

It’s great that you can have someone tell you very subtly via sign language that you’ve something in your teeth while you’re having dinner with friends.

Let’s look at it from another perspective. Before you’re hitched, you’re always on the phone to your boyfriend/girlfriend. Endless amounts of text messages and phone-calls later, both your budgets take a hit in the negative. But once you’re married, you’re literally living together. No needs to text or call, your wife’s right there next to you. You can judge the complexity of a situation (if there is one) without having to second guess and what’s better is your thumb doesn’t get stretched typing or dialing.

If the two of you are driving together, you have company and don’t have to listen to sloppy radio programming. You can have simple conversations about why the fender of the car in the next lane looks crappy to subconsciously complex conversations like why you didn’t let her know her favorite TV show was on while she was taking her nap. And conversations get even more fascinating if you’re stuck in a jam.

Planning a weekend is tricky. When you’re single, you’re more than ready to mingle. You’re more or less ready to set the dreary desert sands of Kuwait on fire with only your thoughts of being in a foreign land sipping martinis. If a friend calls you over, you oblige. Now it’s a different ball game. “I have to check with the missus and get back to you mate” is the reply to those impromptu invitations I have these days. And rightly so. I love saying things in the collective noun way. Like “My wife and I are having a blast” or “my wife and I will be dropping by later” or just plain and simple “my wife and I are planning on staying in tonight” I love saying sentences with “my wife and I”, it sounds so grown up.

Another fun-filled task is ordering take-out. Somehow you’re stuck between Chinese and health-food and after tossing a few take-out menus back and forth for 20 minutes you both decide to order a pizza with the works.

All said and done, for those of you thinking I’m being a know-it-all on marriage, I most certainly am not. Just treat this as a spiel from a guy wanting to impress readers with his astute first hand views on being married. After all it’s not smart taking marriage advice from someone who’s been married for a little over a month, is it?

This is from my January article in the bazaar magazine

1 comment:

Suebee5118 said...

Ah, happy wedded bliss of the first few months. It's good that you see it with so much contentment and wonder... Of course, hate to burst any bubbles but one year down the line it will be much more different. Hopefully still happy tho but very different.

I have to admit tho i had to email your blog link to the hubbess bubbess with the ever so relentless woe-is-me "Why dont u feel this way about us anymore? " but deep down i guess i know why.. because 8 years 2 babies and endless bills and half completed dialogues later, wedded bliss means being able to doze off on the couch without so much as a goodnite kiss. Or going thru a single day without even once really making eye contact & with birth control being unnecessary what with "the baby being practically up all night long" : )

Enjoy this time Barry. Very pleased for you finding someone you are really excited to b with.