Parking Woes!!!

Parking has always been a problem in Kuwait. From parking at work to parking in crowded streets to even paid parking lots. We find people doing all sorts of nonsense when it comes to parking. Let's break it down into a few categories:

Take for instance the Asian expatriates who drive their Kuwaiti sponsor's cars. Man, just because you're driving a Lexus or a BMW 7 Series, doesn't mean you get to behave rude and obnoxious like your bosses! First of all these people drive like peacocks on a mating spree and when they're waiting for their sponsors to come out pf the malls, they wait right at the entrance blocking other drivers from passing. And heaven forbid you blow your horn, they give you that stare that makes you think they're actually the owners of those fancy cars who just have absolutely no dress sense!

There those other kind of people who think that it is their God-given right to take all their time when getting into their cars after a bout of shopping. It could take anything between 30 seconds to 45 minutes for ladies (who are heavily made up) to get into their car, get out to throw their Oscar De La Renta bag in the back seat, climb into the driver's seat again, adjust the rear view mirror (while simultaneously checking to see if their heavy make up is still on), turning on the ignition and almost rear-ending the vehicle behind theirs while getting out of a seemingly easy-to-get-out-of parking spot. They might not want to Asian driver waiting for them but this is worse than that; at least for people waiting for their turn to park. Ladies, please learn to differentiate between N, D and R in our gear shift.

Then there are stalkers who stalk parking spaces. These people drive slow and steady smack in the middle of the parking lot with little regard for the people behind them. Their only aim is to obtain the parking slot right next to the entrance of a mall or supermarket despite the large number of empty spaces that exist in the next lane. They don't mind waiting for even 15 minutes if it secures their spot right next to the entrance. Now all they need is a red carpet and the steely white flashes of the paparazzi!

Then you have those stupid paid parking lots especially in downtown Kuwait City. You pay to enter and despite that you spend about 20 minutes finding a spot. The whole concept of ease of use has been lost here and this happens quite a lot during rush hour. Why don’t they just keep track of the number of cars they let in and stop people from entering once it is full?

Let's not forget, there are those dim-wit numb-skulls that think they have the right to park in two spots instead of one. They either don't see the white line separating two spots of they just don't care. They park diagonally and think it's a mater of style or it shows off their driving (in this case parking) prowess. These people really piss me off – selfish fu#ks!

Finally, there are the people who block someone else thinking "he's not going to move…..I'll be back in a jiffy". Now these are probably the people who come home from the office for a quick lunch and get caught up in an afternoon quickie that they need to take a small nap after it's done. Forget about the poor soul downstairs that has to get to the office or an appointment on time, he can wait until I finish my nap and get another quickie on my way out!

Why do I ask you are people so inconsiderate? Why is it that they are so lazy? Why do they think they're the only people privileged to drive on the roads? Do any of you want to add to these categories?

What kind of a name do you have?

I have always thought of the naming game as a little too cumbersome. Babies should come with name-tags as soon as they're born. Some of us who are fortunate enough to have been blessed with an average intellect have the foresight to give decent names to our kids. First it was the west. Gone are names like John, James, Christopher, Howard and Robert. Nowadays people in the US especially have taken a liking to names like Hayden, Jayden, DiShawn etc.

Then you have people who want to make their race obvious with their names. For instance you know babies with the names Keisha, Delroy, Desiree, Tyrone, Francine or Darius are most certainly African Americans. Just like Alexander, Casey, Jamie are predominantly white baby names! Then there are people who like to change the way their kid's names are spelt. So now you have Brayan, Jayson, Jenipher, Nancee & Justyn! Thanks to the Beckams we now have people naming their kids after cities (in the case of the Beckams it was after their baby was conceived. Brooklyn was where their first-born was supposedly conceived so they named him after the New York borough. What will we have next, New Hampshire, Maine, Khartoum, Addis Ababa? Then there are those descriptive names. In a way it's like the names are telling you what the baby will grow up to be. You have Butler, Porter, Fancy (Yes, I met someone with that name), Destiny (what are the chances she won't be a fortune-teller?) and Castro. If you're naming your daughter Ruth, you're making her out to be an 80 year old nun. Blanche might not sound like a nun's name but it's like saying come over and spend some time with old grandma Blanche in the senior citizen's home.

Even Indians seem to be getting a little overboard with naming their kids these days. Earlier there were names like Ravi, Shyam, Ram, Shekhar, Rukmini and Gita. Todays names are a little complicated like Rushil, Ramon, Revati and Ruchira. For the most part they're all right one could say. But within India let's take a looksey at a few of the states. Goans like to be considered a different part of India. Apart from the politicians most of the normal people (mostly Christians) think they live in a different country. They wear western clothes, (try to speak with a Western accent) and give everything they do a Portuguese story. When it comes to names, Goans like fancy sounding ones. They think their baby will grow up to be famous with a fancy name. Royston is a favorite among the clan and so are variations of other popular names. Other names like Glenville (Goans actually have these kind of names) are better reserved for small town with populations of less than 200 people. Then you have Goodwin, Godwin, Larry, Gary (and sometimes Garry with 2 Rs). A trend that started in the 90s was combining the names of the father and mother to form a new and improved version of the family! ;-) There's Edlin derived from Edward and Linara. (I know these people) There is Milton from Milagres and Tony (which actually is a real name as gay as it may sound). Here's another one – Alvirita derived from Alvito and Rita.

People have also got to realize the implications of naming their kids a silly dorky name. I can't imagine a guy called Willy growing up to be a bouncer or someone called Chantal becoming a UN ambassador someday. How about a president of the US named Porter or Micah?

Seriously, I have a few names in mind for the time I have kids of my own but until then, making fun of other weird and interesting names is all I can do? So…..what's your name again?