What kind of a name do you have?

I have always thought of the naming game as a little too cumbersome. Babies should come with name-tags as soon as they're born. Some of us who are fortunate enough to have been blessed with an average intellect have the foresight to give decent names to our kids. First it was the west. Gone are names like John, James, Christopher, Howard and Robert. Nowadays people in the US especially have taken a liking to names like Hayden, Jayden, DiShawn etc.

Then you have people who want to make their race obvious with their names. For instance you know babies with the names Keisha, Delroy, Desiree, Tyrone, Francine or Darius are most certainly African Americans. Just like Alexander, Casey, Jamie are predominantly white baby names! Then there are people who like to change the way their kid's names are spelt. So now you have Brayan, Jayson, Jenipher, Nancee & Justyn! Thanks to the Beckams we now have people naming their kids after cities (in the case of the Beckams it was after their baby was conceived. Brooklyn was where their first-born was supposedly conceived so they named him after the New York borough. What will we have next, New Hampshire, Maine, Khartoum, Addis Ababa? Then there are those descriptive names. In a way it's like the names are telling you what the baby will grow up to be. You have Butler, Porter, Fancy (Yes, I met someone with that name), Destiny (what are the chances she won't be a fortune-teller?) and Castro. If you're naming your daughter Ruth, you're making her out to be an 80 year old nun. Blanche might not sound like a nun's name but it's like saying come over and spend some time with old grandma Blanche in the senior citizen's home.

Even Indians seem to be getting a little overboard with naming their kids these days. Earlier there were names like Ravi, Shyam, Ram, Shekhar, Rukmini and Gita. Todays names are a little complicated like Rushil, Ramon, Revati and Ruchira. For the most part they're all right one could say. But within India let's take a looksey at a few of the states. Goans like to be considered a different part of India. Apart from the politicians most of the normal people (mostly Christians) think they live in a different country. They wear western clothes, (try to speak with a Western accent) and give everything they do a Portuguese story. When it comes to names, Goans like fancy sounding ones. They think their baby will grow up to be famous with a fancy name. Royston is a favorite among the clan and so are variations of other popular names. Other names like Glenville (Goans actually have these kind of names) are better reserved for small town with populations of less than 200 people. Then you have Goodwin, Godwin, Larry, Gary (and sometimes Garry with 2 Rs). A trend that started in the 90s was combining the names of the father and mother to form a new and improved version of the family! ;-) There's Edlin derived from Edward and Linara. (I know these people) There is Milton from Milagres and Tony (which actually is a real name as gay as it may sound). Here's another one – Alvirita derived from Alvito and Rita.

People have also got to realize the implications of naming their kids a silly dorky name. I can't imagine a guy called Willy growing up to be a bouncer or someone called Chantal becoming a UN ambassador someday. How about a president of the US named Porter or Micah?

Seriously, I have a few names in mind for the time I have kids of my own but until then, making fun of other weird and interesting names is all I can do? So…..what's your name again?